Did You Know We Have This Spunky Stress Keychain?
What's his deal, anyway?
I spotted this stress keychain in our new products section a few weeks ago. I'll admit I wasn't in the world's best mood at the time. I found him to be a bit smug. I even e-mailed the marketing group to see if maybe we can get some angry products, instead of these guys with smiles plastered across their faces. Yes, the mood was that bad.
Since then, I've made amends with the spunky stress keychain. I still think he's kind of pompous, but I'm willing to put that aside. Now, he'll even have his own blog post, featuring him. But what to write about?
He's a 24-hour rush product, so that's pretty neat. He comes in three shades, and his imprint area is pretty big, too, and that's always nice.
Still, it's not really enough. Cue Friday afternoon brainstorming. I stepped into a friend's office and we started making a list of things this stress keychain could be doing. After a few ideas, I realized I had to become the product to truly understand it. Yes, I made an X with my arms and legs, and yes, people walked by and saw me. My face is still red, but all in all the experiment was successful. I couldn't really picture the stress keychain as a person until I struck the same pose. Now, our unabridged list of what this stress keychain is doing:
- Jumping jacks. Come on. This one's pretty obvious. This was before I vogued.
- Transforming into the Incredible Hulk. Well, the green one anyway. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Luckily, he's not alive, so he doesn't have emotions and is always smiling. Therefore, you would always like him. Thanks, tenth-grade geometry and the transitive property.
- A handstand.
- Raising the roof. Perhaps he is listening to "Ice, Ice, Baby" or some such. Or he's at a wedding reception.
- Showing confidence in his deodorant. This stress keychain must remain fresh at all times. Remember those deodorant commercials from the 1980s, where all the people raised their hands? No, just me? Well, that's what the stress keychain reminds me of.
- The wave. This one was inspired solely by my own enactment of the stress keychain pose. That's how I look when I do the wave.
- Getting arrested. For what, I'm not sure. Maybe he went into a convenience store and didn't read the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" policy and then created a ruckus. He doesn't seem too bothered by the situation, at least.
- Cartwheel. See the third illustration.