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Sports Giveaways: Three Surefire Ways to Annoy the People Behind You

Published 16 September 10 03:17 PM
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Does this hat make my head look big?

Thanks to my family I've been to my fair share of slightly out there sporting events. Professional wrestling? Check. Car races? Check, and check about a hundred more times. Monster truck rallies? Every year from age six to 14. Yes.

With age, I've become a bit more ... refined. Baseball games, field hockey games at my college and rugby matches are more my style, or at least those are where I end up on occasion. Then again, keep in mind that I live right outside of Philadelphia, so calling anything refined is tricky. No matter what sporting event I go to, I'm short. Whoever's in front of me will be taller. And sometimes, they bring accessories to make my shortness, well, even shorter.

In my experience, every event has its own "that guy*." This was especially bad at the events of my youth, where there were more than one "that guys." It was more like "those guys."

You know the ones. They're waving the signs and banners, frantically trying for 15 seconds of fame on the JumboTron. They're baring chests in freezing weather to show off the letter "S." They're dressed like Santa Claus in March just because. They're sitting in front of me.

Do you want to encourage them? If so, some good sports giveaways, recently added to ADVANCE Custom Promotions, will please all of the "that guys" out there. You know what "that guy" would love? How about hugenormous custom foam hats? We have those. We have those in thirteen colors. And let me tell you - the imprint area on those hats? It's giant. Your logo will be as big as the day is long, and everyone will see it when "that guy" inevitably ends up on TV or the big screen at the sporting event.

There's really no better way to get your brand name out there than to slap it on a giant foam cowboy hat. Sure, the person sitting behind "that guy" (usually me) may not be a big fan of the giant foam cowboy hat, but it will definitely get the message across: your brand is large, unafraid and ready for primetime.

If big hats just aren't you and you want to appease a different kind of "that guy," consider noisemaker "that guy" instead of sight obstruction "that guy." He's louder. We have something to turn noisemaker "that guy" into a two-for-one: loud and sight obstructive guy. These wholesale inflatable noisemakers will do the trick, and they're much easier to transport to a stadium than giant foam cowboy hats. The official name is BamBams® inflatable noisemakers, and you just blow them up, bang them together and let the celebration unfurl as it will. They're guaranteed to make the person sitting behind you (again, it's probably me) feel assaulted on a visual as well as auditory front. Success!

Finally, if you're into more classic ways of obstructing a view, consider this sports giveaway: the big foam hand. Everyone's number one. Except the person behind the person with the big foam number one hand. That person is decidedly second. These are eye-catching, traditional sports giveaways. You know regular human hands are in no way big enough to express how much you believe your team is number one. Solution: get a bigger hand, a brighter hand, a hand everyone will see. Splash your team logo on the front, deck it out in one of the 13 available hues and go forth and declare your team spirit.

I'll be behind you, with my regular-sized hands politely at my sides as I stretch up on tiptoes to see around that hat. You go, "that guy." You go.

*Blogger's note: "That guy" can and often will be "that woman." Ladies, you are not excused from the debauchery. Indeed, "that guy" can even be "that kid." Sometimes they start young.

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About Lynn Jusinski

After an internship at a home magazine where she wrote about media rooms and $500,000 pool renovations from the comfort of a teeny, cluttered dorm room, Lynn Jusinski graduated from a small college in Pennsylvania and then moved on to write for two weekly newspapers in suburban Philadelphia. A column she penned for the papers won an award from the Pennsylvania Newspaper Association. In 2007, Lynn moved back to the magazine world, and worked full-time as an associate editor for ADVANCE for Health Information Professionals. Her work on the magazine led to “Rookie of the Year” honors and a second place feature award in the annual Editorial Excellence Awards presented by Merion Publications Inc. In her free time, Lynn is typically stuck in traffic, shopping, reading, constructing poorly made crafts and hanging out in and around her hometown.
You can reach Lynn at ljusinski@advanceweb.com

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    ADVANCE
    Occupation: Media, Marketing and Merchandising
    Setting: King of Prussia, PA
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