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Promotional Hand Sanitizers: An Ode in Limerick Form

Published 08 October 10 01:03 PM

Clean hands can be fun.

I have a shocking admission. While we constantly get awesome products added to the ADVANCE Custom Promotions website, sometimes I have a wee little problem. It's not writer's block, really. It's more like hand sanitizer burnout. We love promotional hand sanitizers here at ADVANCE. I mean, what's not to love? They come in a bunch of different types - wipes, sprays, gels, fun shapes, moisturizing, unique scents - and are popular among our customers.

But as a blog lady, sometimes it's tough to know what to say about the promotional hand sanitizers. I ask others for ideas, but hand sanitizers just, well, aren't that sexy to write about. I mean, they do slay germs like knights slayed dragons. They protect you from harm like a house full of angry dogs (who are angry at everyone except you; those dogs love you). They stop microbes and spread messages. Yes, they do all that, but in the end they're still just promotional hand sanitizers. You know all about them. I don't have to tell you how awesome they are, like the MagnetMugsTM or these super sweet but very new MoMA promotional items. Everyone knows how to use them, so no tips needed there. And you even probably have some awesome ideas on how to use promotional hand sanitizers to get your logo out there and noticed.

What's that leave me with, then? I took inspiration from my favorite podcast, NPR's "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me" and put together a few madcap limericks. They're madcap because while I used to write devotedly in my spiral notebook of poems as a kid, perfecting beats and memorizing the different types of sonnets, I don't remember much about those days. The syllables are probably off. The beat is not quite right. If you came to this page to judge limericks, you came to the right place.

However, limericks do seem a good way to show you the assets of our awesome collection of promotional hand sanitizers. They spice it up a little, you know? Without further ado, here is my collection of limericks devoted to our collection of promotional hand sanitizers. Just like in "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me," it's also kind of a game. Guess the last word in each line. I'll put the answers in super teeny weeny font at the bottom (because I don't know how to turn things upside-down, mainly). Quick grade school refresher: the bottom line rhymes with the top two end rhymes (not the third and fourth).

A sanitizer shaped like a dress

In four colors it's sure to impress

With a citrusy smell

It will go over well

And it sprays so it won't make a _____.

 

There once was a sanitizer hand

Costing $2.39 each for a grand

Wave "hi" or slap five

Though the hand's not alive

That would be creepy, I ________.

 

No, it won't pay to give it a swipe

This sanitizer of credit card type

Give all the germs a scare

And some sparkles add flair

Happy customers won't have a ­­_____.

 

A sanitizer looked just like a pen

It got annoyed so often when

Someone didn't think

Thought it contained ink

And in vain tried to write with it _____.

 

 

 

ANSWERS: mess, understand, gripe, again

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About Lynn Jusinski

After an internship at a home magazine where she wrote about media rooms and $500,000 pool renovations from the comfort of a teeny, cluttered dorm room, Lynn Jusinski graduated from a small college in Pennsylvania and then moved on to write for two weekly newspapers in suburban Philadelphia. A column she penned for the papers won an award from the Pennsylvania Newspaper Association. In 2007, Lynn moved back to the magazine world, and worked full-time as an associate editor for ADVANCE for Health Information Professionals. Her work on the magazine led to “Rookie of the Year” honors and a second place feature award in the annual Editorial Excellence Awards presented by Merion Publications Inc. In her free time, Lynn is typically stuck in traffic, shopping, reading, constructing poorly made crafts and hanging out in and around her hometown.
You can reach Lynn at ljusinski@advanceweb.com

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    ADVANCE
    Occupation: Media, Marketing and Merchandising
    Setting: King of Prussia, PA
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