Promotional Hand Sanitizers: An Ode in Limerick Form
Clean hands can be fun.
I have a shocking admission. While we constantly get awesome products added to the ADVANCE Custom Promotions website, sometimes I have a wee little problem. It's not writer's block, really. It's more like hand sanitizer burnout. We love promotional hand sanitizers here at ADVANCE. I mean, what's not to love? They come in a bunch of different types - wipes, sprays, gels, fun shapes, moisturizing, unique scents - and are popular among our customers.
But as a blog lady, sometimes it's tough to know what to say about the promotional hand sanitizers. I ask others for ideas, but hand sanitizers just, well, aren't that sexy to write about. I mean, they do slay germs like knights slayed dragons. They protect you from harm like a house full of angry dogs (who are angry at everyone except you; those dogs love you). They stop microbes and spread messages. Yes, they do all that, but in the end they're still just promotional hand sanitizers. You know all about them. I don't have to tell you how awesome they are, like the MagnetMugsTM or these super sweet but very new MoMA promotional items. Everyone knows how to use them, so no tips needed there. And you even probably have some awesome ideas on how to use promotional hand sanitizers to get your logo out there and noticed.
What's that leave me with, then? I took inspiration from my favorite podcast, NPR's "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me" and put together a few madcap limericks. They're madcap because while I used to write devotedly in my spiral notebook of poems as a kid, perfecting beats and memorizing the different types of sonnets, I don't remember much about those days. The syllables are probably off. The beat is not quite right. If you came to this page to judge limericks, you came to the right place.
However, limericks do seem a good way to show you the assets of our awesome collection of promotional hand sanitizers. They spice it up a little, you know? Without further ado, here is my collection of limericks devoted to our collection of promotional hand sanitizers. Just like in "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me," it's also kind of a game. Guess the last word in each line. I'll put the answers in super teeny weeny font at the bottom (because I don't know how to turn things upside-down, mainly). Quick grade school refresher: the bottom line rhymes with the top two end rhymes (not the third and fourth).
A sanitizer shaped like a dress
In four colors it's sure to impress
With a citrusy smell
It will go over well
And it sprays so it won't make a _____.
There once was a sanitizer hand
Costing $2.39 each for a grand
Wave "hi" or slap five
Though the hand's not alive
That would be creepy, I ________.
No, it won't pay to give it a swipe
This sanitizer of credit card type
Give all the germs a scare
And some sparkles add flair
Happy customers won't have a _____.
A sanitizer looked just like a pen
It got annoyed so often when
Someone didn't think
Thought it contained ink
And in vain tried to write with it _____.
ANSWERS: mess, understand, gripe, again