Customized Leatherman® Products: Because I Had To
Sometimes, much like a wedding DJ, I get requests. Instead of requests to play "Celebration" or "The Chicken Dance," the requests that come to me are more along the lines of write about this product, or write about this other product. Each time, except in the cases where I was truly baffled on what to write, I do indulge these requests.
A recent one from our custom promotions marketing coordinator caught me off guard. He asked me to write about our fab new collection of customized Leatherman® products.
I took one look and instantly felt out of my league. These are very dude-ly products. Knives freak me out. This likely has a lot to do with my dad's eternal fear that I'll chop off an appendage. Being in the Jusinski kitchen on any holiday truly is an adventure. It typically goes like this. I grab a cutting board, pick up whatever I'm planning on cutting and get a big old knife. My dad freaks out, takes the knife away and cuts whatever it is himself. This would be perfectly acceptable if I was, oh, six years old. I'm 28. He even gives me a disapproving look when I lift up a steak knife to cut meat.
Seeing all these very scary customized Leatherman knives on the product page gave me a slight case of writers' block. Luckily, the custom promotions marketing coordinator gave me some succinct points to go on. They're as follows:
1. They're manly.
2. They make wonderfully pointy holiday gifts.
3. Zombie apocalypse
4. Leatherman is a very well known brand.
Indeed. I truly agree with the first one. They're very manly, and the various tools have manly names. My favorite is "Skeletool." How cool is that? Skeletool has all kinds of manly attachments, too, like needlenose pliers, regular pliers, wire cutters, hard-wire cutters, 420HC combo knife (huh?), a bit driver and a carabiner clip/bottle opener. That's very dude-friendly, though I could see some use for it as a non-dude. I know what most of those things are, and I always need pliers to fix stuff that breaks around my apartment/in my jewelry box.
His second point is also on. Yes, the custom Leatherman tools would make delightfully pointy gifts. I always say, if my gift ain't pointy, well, I just don't want it. Looking at our collection of customized Leatherman tools, I believe the "Wave" multi-tool might be the pointiest of all. I mean, it has a saw. And it fits in your pocket. The "Wave" tool also has two different serrated knives, so each knife has its own points. Pliers are pointy, and it features two kinds of those. Wire cutters cut stuff and therefore must be pointy. The ruler ... well, the ruler isn't pointy, but it's just about the only thing on the "Wave" customized Leatherman tool that isn't.
Now, looking at the third reason to write about our customized Leatherman tools, I'm going to have to disagree. While I might not know much about knives, I do read a lot about zombies. In this case, I don't think these customized Leatherman tools would be uber-helpful fighting zombies during a zombie apocalypse. Everyone knows that hand-to-hand combat with zombies should be avoided, lest one get bitten, and that's the only way you'd really be able to use the Leatherman tools to combat zombies.
With that said, I do think the customized Leatherman tools would be helpful during a zombie apocalypse, just not for fighting the undead. Instead, they would be helpful in a number of other ways - cutting screens to get into hiding places, screwing reinforcements onto windows to keep zombies out and perhaps sawing limbs off if push came to shove.
Finally, the last point (and the only one that really relates to marketing here, for the record): Leatherman is a well known brand. That's because they make quality pointy stuff. We offer a whole set with all of the customized Leatherman tools, too, so you can definitely offer up a quality gift this holiday season if you opt for that. It contains the "Style," "Micra," "Squirt," "Freestyle," "Skeletool," "Wave" and "Micra" tools - the entire collection.
While they might not help you slay zombies, they will help you out this holiday season if you're hunting for the perfect pointy gifts.