I've Got a Hitch in My Giddyup
I am feeling like a typical Lazy Libra these days. Even after my rush of enthusiasm for organization and starting a fresh year, I find I'm sputtering along and not quite sure how to recapture my motivation. I watch my friend--who not only works as an MT, but has a stitchery business online, has written a serious book (and currently working on #2 and 3 in a series of 6), as well as starting her own publishing company, three blogs, editing two other authors, and marketing them all (I know--it's craziness!), as well as doing the motherhood thing--and whilst I get tons of satisfaction from her successes, it makes me more tired than motivated to co-opt some of her energy and try to keep up. Yes, she's an extreme case, but I read Carol's blog here and get a similar worn-out feeling. I've seen several MTs this week crying about the wages these days and the fact they're having to work 3-5 jobs just to keep a roof over their heads, and you'd think this should motivate me not to become one of them. . . but it just makes me tired.
Maybe I'm suffering a little empty nest syndrome, who knows? My daughter moved off to MA last November and no thanks to ice storms, blizzards, and general disorganization, never did make it home for the holidays. I've fallen into the old routine of sleeping, working, sleeping, working, and. . . for what? What I need and what I want seem always just on the horizon, and I need a better carrot to keep me moving that direction.
Even my daily horoscopes keep harping on the fact that I need to buckle down and just DO IT, "wish for what I want and work for what I need," and other motivational tidbits, as though my lack of progress is not a very well-kept secret. . . Honestly, I know the things that are making me unhappy these days will only change if I do my part, but outside of doubling my multivites or becoming a coffee addict, how can I overcome this feeling I'm spinning my wheels?
To that end, I decided to scour the internet for a clue and found a pretty good site, though I'm not sure I'll succeed in taking it from, "Yeah, that makes sense," to actual practice: Pick the Brain's "Overcoming the loss of motivation" and "How to motivate yourself." Looks like an interesting site if you're a self-improvement junkie.
Back to my Libra tendencies, I apparently require more than some hurdles to jump over. I'm afraid my biggest motivator is anger--or more accurately, a challenge. When I flew through my MT training and into a job, my biggest motivator was a guy who tried to control me and told me I'd never make it on my own and would be crawling back to him in short order. ORLY? . . . Of course, that was my ticket to success! Nothing sets me in motion as well as being told I can't do something! I can't say I'm terribly enthused about seeking out another abusive relationship as a means to further my professional goals, though, so I guess I'll keep skimming the self-help aisle and see if I can't find a healthier alternative.