Epic Fail
Yes, I've been wallowing in grief all week, hardly sleeping, hardly eating, hardly leaving the house, even over the weekend. Though we're convinced the house is haunted (not in a bad way), Wee Ailís has not managed to join the activity and put in an appearance, and I'm feeling the void in a bad way. The dynamics in the house are changing in weird ways as the cats jockey for position (my nonfurry kids were never like this!) and the one-upmanship is riding a fine line between hysterical and downright obnoxious.
Worst of all, between the never-ending family crises, I have managed to neglect my insanely boring pharmacology course to the point of no return and now get to haul myself up by the bootstraps and just start over. I figure I will allow myself a very finite period of time to get my head on straight and rediscover my gusto.
For now, I've only made a feeble attempt and found one suitable self-help site that promises to help me learn the 10 Sure-Fire Ways to Be a Complete Failure At Everything. THIS, I can do:
1. Chase other people's dreams.
2. Start 17 Projects, Finish None.
3. Give Up When It Gets Tough.
4. Persist at all costs.
5. Never ask for help.
6. Trample On Other People.
7. Never say no.
8. Be Disorganized.
9. Stay In Your Comfort Zone.
10. Procrastinate.
Yes, some of them seem contradictory at first, but it is possible to exceed at several simultaneously. Clearly, I have a lock on numbers 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, and 10, with the emphasis on the disorganization and procrastination. I don't see that they offer a prize for this, sadly enough. Of course, I lose points because I have not carried this loserishness into my workplace and in fact, have been so intent on ignoring my painful reality that I've managed record production numbers of late.
Obviously, this is all tongue in cheek and really offers a perspective on behaviors to avoid in chasing your dream. Perhaps I'll follow some links in the article and find further sage advice. Maybe I'll begin by making an entry on Dreaminder to kick myself in the whatsis every couple weeks because it usually takes me about six months into a new year before I finally remember to buy a new calendar and this will defeat #10, if only temporarily.