Of Watermelon and Viagra
From the stunned look on the face of the presidential candidate (of a certain age) it was painfully apparent that the question about why Medicare pays for Viagra, but not a female drug of the same nature, was just about the last question in the world that he had been prepped to answer. No doubt about it, that question was a surprise; normally the press tends to confine questions of a sexual nature to those that are a bit more titillating than dysfunctional health issues.
Transcribing sexual content in a patient's medical record is a part of the transcription process that rarely gets talked about publicly. While many MTs would not openly admit it, over the years I have come to think that for some the vicarious frisson that inevitably accompanies learning "secrets" as we sit here transcribing is as much a part of what we do as reaching for the Dorland's to research a new medical word. And, though some would deny it, reality is that those tawdry, trashy, at times emotionally draining feelings (sort of like those we get from watching soap operas and reading tabloid gossip magazines) are feelings all MTs have had to struggle with. Certainly there have been times I found myself staring at my dog, squirming around in my chair, attempting to suppress that feeling of "knowing" something I cannot share with anyone at all ... virtuously hugging that secret to myself. The temptation not to share those "secrets" is one of hardest hurdles every MT I have ever known has had to learn to overcome, doubly so when the subject is related in any way whatsoever to sex. As the recent hoo-haw with Britney Spears' medical records has shown us, some folks in health care jobs never do make it over that hurdle. When something "Brangelina" passes through the headset, something only a few people on earth are privy to ... ohhh the temptation to hint, to wink, to try disguising the particulars, to let just a little bit of that "slip" out somewhere, especially online where it is so easy to pretend anonymity. I think transcribing anything sex related is one of the most important lessons in self-restraint that an MT learns. It is, undeniably, a very real part of our working reality.
**agra, the big "V" ... and the many other permutations of the spelling of the name has a way of attracting attention. I am sure the reporter knew that, saw it as a way to set herself apart from the crowd. It is a drug name that, no matter how often transcribed in medical records (and it is transcribed a lot), those who post in online message forums purposely misspell in order to avoid waking up in the morning to e-mail boxes overflowing with offers from spam bots for "deep discounts," yet here was a reporter unafraid to spit that word out on national television, boldly asking a question many females in this country would dearly love an answer to ... what cojones! While I had a moment of justifiable intrigue watching the politician fumble about for an answer, I have to say I did kind of feel sorry for the guy--I am sure he would much rather have been discussing world peace instead of erectile dysfunction issues. Another thing that was intriguing about that press conference was that the reporters in the room must not listen to their own news casts because in that same week that the "V" question was asked scientists had announced that watermelon had been found to contain the same chemical properties as the drug. It had been a leading news item on every television station one turned to, but not a single one of those reporters volunteered that information to sort of help that politician out.
Today, for the first time I had a transcript with the physician earnestly detailing his discussion with a patient about just how much watermelon one should probably eat as an alternative to taking the drug, and, as I finished creating a macro expander for that word (I reckon I will have to transcribe it at least as much as the "V" word once farmers figure out they should be marketing watermelon as heavily as the drug reps have pushed the "V" pill since the day it was created) I found myself rethinking my plan to expand my beds of heirloom tomatoes and put in some more watermelons instead.