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LPN School Ties

There for Dad

Published July 9, 2008 4:23 PM by Stephanie Mitchell
Here is something to ponder:  What do you do as a nursing student (or a nurse) when one of your parents is diagnosed with a life-threatening disease?

Such was the case for me in early 1998 when my dad was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. I was in the first year of my practical nurse schooling, and I didn't know how much of a professional challenge this would be for me.

As my training progressed and I learned more about healthcare, the more useless and helpless I felt. What kind of a nurse would I be if I couldn't even fix my dad? This thought had me in tears many nights.  I was very pleased to be a student though, when daddy was getting some inpatient chemotherapy treatments at the Lombardi Cancer Center at Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, DC. One time I was visiting dad in his room when a nurse came in to administer one of his treatments. She saw me in my clinical uniform (I had just come from class at a different school) and, thinking I was staff, said she would come back later. I introduced myself to her and dad told her I was following my heart and studying nursing.  I was so happy then that I had taken this path. And I was so happy that dad was pleased with the career I had chosen after he had retired as a judge and had seen my sister and brother both practice law.

But, as dad got more sick I felt more useless.  And the tears continued to flow at night. But in October of 1991, shortly after I had graduated, taken and passed my boards, and become licensed in Maryland and Virginia, I was getting ready to travel to New Orleans for my sister's wedding with my family.

Now, understand that dad was still getting treatments rather regularly and the veins in his arms were pretty well used up.  So, he had had port placed in his chest for his treatments so that they could continue. This all happened the week before we were supposed to fly. Dad was complaining that his port still needed daily flushings and was concerned about who would do it. So, while mom was trying to set up visiting nurses, I told him I would take enough dressing kits and flushes for the week. He got teary eyed and said "You would do that for me?"

Finally, I felt that I had something valuable to give to people - skills and reassurance. If dad trusted me, the whole world would trust me. I had arrived as a professional.

Students, as you continue your journey, you will learn that doctors and nurses make the worst patients. You will also learn that your most challenging patients are not the ones in the ICU, ER, or med/surg ward.  They're those in your own home or close circle of family and friends.

I welcome your questions and comments and may use them in future columns.

And remember, when I see you in the corridors or hallways, we are all in this jungle together.

2 comments

Maureen, I would like to hear your experience from when your dad died.  It is never easy to loose a parent, especially when we have pleadged to do all we can to heal people.  

Where was he when he died and what were the circumstances around his care that you did not like?

Stephanie Mitchell LPN

Stephanie Mitchell July 21, 2008 8:54 AM

The same type of thing happened to me while I was going to school except my father died.  It took a long time and a lot of therapy to get over it.  The doctors and nurses were a bunch of jerks.  That's what I took away from the experience.  I wouldn't treat any patient or family member that I was involved with the way my father and my family were taken care of.  

maureen kilroy, geriatrics - staff nurse, Life Care of the South Shore July 14, 2008 1:32 AM
quincy MA

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