Learning from the Lived Experience of Elders in Nursing Homes
Have you ever taken the time to sit with your residents and truly listen to their perspectives of life in a nursing home? As a gerontological nurse and as the granddaughter of a nursing home resident, I thought I knew what life was like in a nursing home. My opinion on what I thought I knew completely changed five years ago when I was working on my Master's thesis.
My thesis was titled Coping Strategies of Elders in Nursing Homes. It was a Grounded Theory study in which I interviewed residents living in nursing homes. I asked (cognitively alert) residents how they coped with the transition from home into a nursing home. During the interview phase of my thesis research I was shaken by some of the answers elders shared with me. The methodology for my study dictated that I could only ask preapproved prompt questions and then just listen. Sitting and listening to the elders who lived in the home gave me so much to reflect on. I want to share with you some of the comments the interviewees offered in the hope that their words of wisdom will help us all learn to listen. (Please note that the nursing homes in which this study took place were all rated as high quality facilities.)
"I use to be the mommy and now I am a mummy, no one listens to me, no one asks."
"I hope I don't get like that one over there." (As she pointed to another resident.)
"I took care of my husband so he wouldn't end up here, now I am here."
"They are always running around, they never stop to listen."
"No one cares."
As a nurse and educator, I desperately wanted to help these people to cope. I wanted to teach them about dementia so they would understand the actions of the people they were living with. I wanted to do things to make them feel better. But maybe my desire, and the desire of others in roles like mine, the desire to do something instead of sitting and listening was what was causing some of their feelings? Is "care" listening or is it doing? Is it a merge of both? How do we so our empathy and help residents cope with their new home? How can learning from the lived experience of cognitively intact elders, living in nursing homes, help us care for people with dementia?