Go for the Parents

Wow!  Targeting parents is food for thought but not very easy for me to digest.  Sure the armed forces need to recruit. Trying to convince skeptical parents that it’s OK for their young adults to join the armed forces is one thing.   But to think that, in general, parents have that much sway over their children’s lives, or more specifically, their career choices is hard for me to believe.  I will have to check out Erickson’s research to be convinced.

I have two college aged daughters whom we have raised to be independent-thinking citizens of the world.  They try, as much as possible, to navigate life away from home on their own.  They often get the impression that they are not taken seriously as young adults.  

Sure, they lack the life experience to get every negotiation or inquiry right the first time around.  Sometimes they don’t even know what questions to ask.  They don’t always understand “the system”.  They are befuddled by rules and regulations that don’t make sense to them.

I think that all of us who deal with young adults have a responsibility to help them navigate the adult world.  They may sound confused, defensive and even demanding at times.  This just shows their lack of life-experience.  Can you think of some situations in your own young adult life that were learning experiences for you?  I certainly can.  Looking back, I wish I had behaved differently in many of these situations, but I was doing the best with the information that I had.  

Parents who hold too much sway over their children need to back off and let their “children” become independent, offering advice when asked, but mostly remaining watchfully in the background.  Encouraging this kind of behavior from parents or their children is counterproductive.

Let’s be teachers, mentors and nurturers.  But let’s target the young adults with our good intentions.  If we don’t, we are missing a great opportunity to build their futures as well as our own.

Interesting article, Stephanie. I first heard the term "helicopter parents" a year ago and think it is an amusing but apt description of parents who hover.

Traditionally parents have taught kids to be self-reliant and that there can be value in making mistakes. The parents of Millenials do run the risk that their offspring might find it more difficult to lead independent lives and make life decisions without (or regardless of) parental input.

As you and I probably know form experience, Stephanie, self sufficiency builds confidence and the ability to learn life-long survival skills.

Nick, you are probably being a little facetious in your post, but I have had both parents and spouses try to intervene when a Millenial employee faced disciplinary action at work.

Regardless of our own view of the wisdom of that parenting style and the resultant work/life ethics it is instructive to know that Millenials do have a different life-view and that employers can take advantage of their special relationships with their parents.

This new generation of employees sure has a lot going for it that previous generations did not.  I hope that they don't start having their parents tag along and hold their hands for interviews and such.

Hi Glen:

I have a link you may be interested in reading:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent

While it is a good thing for parents to set examples for their children and be involved to a certain extent in their children's education, the most important "education" those children may receive as adults is learning the importance of a good work ethic, improved interpersonal skills in effective working relationships with others who have diverse values and personalities, etc., for THEMSELVES.  

I was born in 1978, so I guess I'm a "Gen X/Y." LOL

My mother and I were very close during my childhood, and I even attended college only 30-40 minutes from her home ten years ago before the days of cell phone text messages.  Her opinions and suggestions as to how I should handle certain situations in life were very important to me then, and still are, albeit to a lesser degree now.

However, I have to wonder how these young adult children of "helicopter parents" will ever learn independence, self-sufficiency, problem-solving skills, etc., in the near future if parents are ENCOURAGED to intervene in disputes with college professors and supervisors in their jobs once they get out into the "real world."