Relational Aggression

re: Relational Aggression

Scott Warner — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:26:55 GMT

For mysterious reasons, terrible managers endure. I've known my share. They whinge and whine to their peers, abuse and humiliate their staff. They yell within earshot of patients. They see no problem in calling others incompetent or pointing out "flaws" in ideas, often with rude condescension. They are often overworked and in great demand, bringing "work" to meetings until paged for the next crisis that craves their indispensible talent.

If administration won't fire a bad boss, staff and coworkers can confront the unacceptable behavior with professional tact. But this leaves the bearer of bad news a choice -- stay or go? -- if conditions don't improve.

I've also known managers who endure enormous turnover as victims of capricious market forces that only they, apparently, understand fully. So, even leaving doesn't change behavior and, indeed, may strengthen a bad manager's reputation as an "expert."

It's tempting to think that shortages will improve management, but has this happened in any other fields? I wonder. It sounds like Duke and other places have figured it out, though. I'll bet that's an interesting story.

re: Relational Aggression

Stephanie Mathis, MT(ASCP) — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 15:47:20 GMT

In four years of being certified as a MT/CLS, I have only worked in three facilities where I felt my skills were appreciated - and I was actually treated as a human being.

In other words, "teamwork," "constructive criticism," and "learning from mistakes" are highly prioritized at the laboratories of Duke Medical Center, the Lafayette, IN hospital in which I worked as a traveling technologist a year ago, and my current employer - and hopefully at least a few other clinical laboratories out there.

Unfortunately, other types of psychologically harmful workplace cultures, including "favoritism" and the lovely "blame game" that Scott mentions elsewhere in his blog, seem to be the rule rather than the exception in this occupation (at least from most of my experiences since becoming certified by ASCP in 2004).

Perhaps that will change in the near future with new millenial/Gen Y employees demanding that their supervisors talk to them "as if they were TV psychologists" rather than the way a lot of them currently talk to hard-working, conscientious employees whom they should value and appreciate. (i.e. the comment that was made to me at the Eden, NC hospital that "as a Med Tech and as an adult, I should have known better than to call Dr. So-and-So before 9:00 AM on a Saturday morning" (while doing my job and reporting a MRSA!) "because we look out for our doctors here and make sure they can get their sleep over the weekends!")

We can hope and pray that such "supervisors" either retire or miraculously become enlightened as to how their emotional/verbal abuse exacerbates the laboratory staffing shortage by causing DRAMATICALLY INCREASED TURNOVER in their facilities!

re: Relational Aggression

Efren Ventura — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:59:26 GMT

Go for it Carrie! With your sentiments, it sounded like you very well deserve nothing but the better! I wish we can all quit our jobs all over, altogether and we'll see if those bullies will exist without us!

re: Relational Aggression

Carrie — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 01:33:52 GMT

My supervisor is a narcissistic bully. I've given twenty frustrating years of my life to her and received nothing but grief...guess what? I've returned to school and will be leaving this lousy profession ASAP!

re: Relational Aggression

Scott Warner — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:20:02 GMT

The behavior described - cranky, left out, belittled, humiliated, accusing, lying -- creates a hostile work environment that must impact patient care. What happens, for instance, if a bully in a position of power commits a serious error? Or covers up an error? An administration that tolerates such behavior puts the entire organization at risk.

But bullies are very good at what they do; there's every chance it works up as well as down the ladder. Even more reason to get rid of them!

What is bullying? It can be different things to different people. Here are two experiences:

A female nurse walks into a cafeteria. Her new hairstyle is critiqued by a group of female nurses at a table. They grumble cattily about the color, the style, and how horrible it looks; some of the comments are pretty rude. But when the nurse approaches their table, they all cry in unison, "O-o-oh! We lo-ove your hair!"

A male lab tech arrives at work one morning. His hair is jagged in the back and his bangs uneven -- a botch job. His male supervisor walks up to him, points at his head while laughing, and says, "What happened -- did your wife cut your hair?"

The first case is mean -- and has stuck in my memory ever since -- but the second is simply funny. Even if one of many demeaning remarks, it's still funny. Guys just seem to think about these things differently.

Management needs to be aware that bullying happens and be ready to act. While bullying won't go away on its own, victims do. No one can afford that.

re: Relational Aggression

Wally — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 18:16:04 GMT

As a male working in a laboratory environment filled with cranky older women, it is very easy to become a 'victim' of typical female behaviors. In one of my more recent positions, the supervisor was a middle-aged female and was tight with a few of the older women that worked our shift. I, being the only male, was left on the outer circle for many things. %0d%0a%0d%0aWithout going into specifics, this is one reason I left that facility. And you can see this could also be as to why many other men do not go into or stay in this field on the bench tech level. %0d%0a%0d%0aFrankly, I would rather take a sales position at a local hardware store before I am put into another situation like that again.

re: Relational Aggression

Penny — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 18:00:31 GMT

I have been the victim of bullying in several of my positions and that was the reason for me leaving those positions.%0d%0a%0d%0aI was bullied by coworkers mainly but I was bullied in one of my positions by a manager (not my manager). I went to HR about this person and nothing happened.%0d%0a%0d%0aI have learned to keep my mouth shut when I am bullied because nothing happens.%0d%0a%0d%0aIt is very sad.....

re: Relational Aggression

antoinette — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 23:04:51 GMT

There are four techs in the lab, all of which receive a share of the supervisor's (female) wrath. She belittles, insults,humiliates and accuses. No one reacts to her, we all need our jobs. She is given power by those above, so she can do what ever she wants. Even though many, many complaints have been lodged against her, she still maintains her job and her horrible attitude to those who work under her. To defend yourself against her would mean dismissal, not counting what she would put in your file. We all are stressed and suffering many physical ailments that working here produces.

re: Relational Aggression

Mary — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:41:02 GMT

A supervisor's behavior will never change if management allows her to get away with it. You didn't state if the supervisor's boss was also female, but I bet not. Men don't like to acknowledge female bullying in the workplace. They want everyone to "play nice" and go about their business. As we know, things aren't that easy.

I'm not quite sure if it's the powerlessness techs feel on the job or the lab routine & stress that stir it up, but bullying happens in even well-run labs at times. Beware the passive-aggressive bully! There are no innocent bystanders to bullying, so don't fool yourself into thinking it'll blow over.

A good place to start understanding the "why" behind female bullying in the workplace is the book "In the Company of Women" by Patricia Heim. The author makes it clear that women need to face up to one another and acknowledge behavior traits that set the stage for bullying. You have to start with yourself and analyze what you're doing and how you react to situations that may be contributing to the toxic atmosphere. Take a positive step towards change and read the book!

re: Relational Aggression

Carol — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 05:41:45 GMT

I have been the victim of bullying in the workplace. In my case I (as well as others) were bullied by my boss. It was not always subtle. She has entered lies into my employee record. These were blatant lies, and I had witnesses who signed documents saying that they were present when these things were alleged to have happened and that they were untrue. The most appalling thing is that it is almost impossible to get management to act. I have filed two grievances. The entire laboratory had a series of meetings with our boss's boss. We all supported each other, but she still has her job. Management has never admitted to anything. They said we need to have a program to help us work together as a team. It is awful to be in a situation where making a living requires that you allow yourself to be victimized. This made me feel like they were trivializing our suffering. This is a serious problem and it needs to be brought to the attention of employers everywhere.