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New NP

Dealing With Tears

Published June 11, 2009 7:55 AM by Tina Goodpasture
One of the many things that I have learned and been surprised by as a new nurse practitioner is how readily people will pour out their life story to a complete stranger.

I am a fairly private person and need some sort of relationship with someone before I can share deep, personal thoughts and feelings. In this week alone, I have had 7 patients weeping, telling me about problems with finances, husbands, wives, work, and so forth. And it is only Thursday!

All of these folks were new patients for me, and none of these confessions were prompted by me other than to ask something to the effect of "is anything new going on since we last saw you" -- meaning new medical diagnoses, surgeries, etc. One patient cried so much that she had to sit in the exam room for awhile after the visit to rein in her emotions before she could leave.

I feel ill prepared for these cathartic events and feel that I am doing little for the patient other than listening, offering tissues and resources for counseling. I didn't really have this type of interaction with patients as an RN or while in my NP program, so I feel like I am struggling with learning a new skill.

When I first began practicing, I felt uncomfortable and tended to try to console the patient, just to bring an end to the visit and get me out of the room. Now that I am getting more used to these emotional torrents, I am no longer uncomfortable but feel that I have nothing helpful to offer. I like being able to recommend solutions to problems, but for patients with anxiety, depression, overwhelming social situations and lack of coping mechanisms - that is easier said than done.

So, to those of you that work in behavioral health - a big round of applause for what you do! I want to be like you when I grow up!

posted by Tina Goodpasture

3 comments

I bet you offer more than you know just by listening. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, but you just don't feel confident in your ability yet. It will take time to develop. I wonder if there any seminars or workshops on this topic for NPs and other healthcare professionals?

Bridget Steiner June 14, 2009 9:10 PM

I wanted to add one more thing. If it's a diagnosis that the patient has to now deal with. What about referring them to one of the many support groups you have in your city? Many hospitals now have weekly and/or monthly meetings for various support groups that your patients can attend for free.

Rather than looking at this as a "downside" of your job perhaps look at it as a great way to additionally help people! :)

Natalie June 14, 2009 9:29 AM

My suggestion next time would be to offer the patient 2 names of good psychologists that they could go talk to in confidence. Or to refer them to whatever they are in need to talk about to that respective professional.

You are an NP now. You have the ability to make referrals. Do it. Not only will it help your patients, but it may provide them with a new outlook on life. My NP did it for me and now I too am en route to become an NP but not after I left an abusive situation and took care of my children and myself.

You have a lot of power, believe it or not, to help these people and by just referring them to a professional, be it a psychologist within your hospital, or something simple as the Credit Counseling Agency within your city...it can help people tremendously.

Natalie , Digestive Institute - Nurse Asst, Cleveland Clinic June 14, 2009 9:27 AM
Cleveland

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