It's not easy being green. I'm not talking about the color, either. I'm talking about being the rookie, the novice, the newbie, the beginner. You see, I can be an impatient person. And all this low rung on the ladder stuff -- well, it doesn't always sit well with my innate perfectionist. I want to know EVERTHING. And I want to know it NOW.
That's my id. My superego is laughing at this. There is no way that I am going to learn everything there is to know about primary care in one day. Clinical hours and school get you started -- but they can only cover so much. Ironically, I find that I practice very similarly now as two months ago when I was still in school, whipping out my Derm text for a skin rash I don't quite understand, or scouring respected medical websites for information about an obscure disease that my patient happens to have that we never covered in class. It is at these times when somewhere inside I think, "Wow, I have a really long way to go."
I do hear while the learning curve is steep -- it is going to flatten out. And I am hoping that even three months from now, I will be able to look back on these first three weeks of my new NP career and be amazed by how much I have learned. I realize, too, that the learning will never end. But I am hoping that I don't always have to pore over every clinical decision I make -- I am yearning for the ease of a seasoned professional. Not cocky, yet confident and assured.
Well, it requires work to get to that place right? And on that note, I am finishing this blog to go do some remedial reading on titrating insulin for hard to control diabetics. I'm seeing that person tomorrow -- and need to be ready.