A Fresh Breath
I have been enjoying going to work these days. That's a feeling I haven't felt in a while. Training these last 4 months was even more amusing than my last job. I had begun to think the only thing I was ever going to treat was URIs, back pain, and diabetes. Don't get me wrong, treating these ailments is important, but they don't excite me and I think I lost interest in primary care some time ago, I just don't know when.
Interest in your work is important. If you have no interest in what you do it will lead to dissatisfaction that spreads to all facets of your life. It can also make you less motivated to participate in other things that may interest you. I am interested in entrepreneurship, scholarship, policy, and clinical practice, and where I was working was not inspiring me to push myself towards pursuing those professional aspirations. I want to feel inspired and motivated by my work and those I am surrounded by. I didn't just want to just go to work every day- I wanted to love it. You should love what you do. That's where I am right now. All of my previous positions have made me feel like just another number, just another provider. All I was needed for was to see patients and go home. Never asking me for my input or including me in decisions, never allowing me to feed my hunger to be more involved in the company I worked for. There is no chance for vertical mobility in organizations where there is already a hierarchy in place and if there ever was a chance, I never felt that way.
I don't feel like that anymore, and it's weird because I don't know that I actually have any of these freedoms that I discussed but I feel that I do. I am able to be more mobile since I now see patients in long-term care settings, which I love because I am not constrained to an office with no windows and preset lunch breaks. I am not pressured to see patients in 15 minute increments. Patients are no longer double and triple booked. I can take my time and enjoy my job. I can take my lunch breaks when I want, and I am able to freely go and come as I please-because the work environment and the position allow that. I am in charge of ME- and I like that. I set my own schedule and I leave for work when I want and I go home and finish my work day when I want.
I guess all I ever really wanted was freedom, freedom from a constrictive work environment, freedom to relax and have balance with work and home. I have all of those things now and could not imagine life how it used to be.
Dermatology has offered me a fresh breath, a new start.