Called in for Questioning

Let's face it ladies, the expectations for workers, especially in advanced roles regardless of the industry, is that work is primary.  Especially in medicine, the field has always demanded sacrificing personal for professional.  It may be changing but the fundamental ethos hasn't changed all that much!  Even though my generation's women's liberation movement opened the doors for women in so many ways, it hasn't changed the biological fact that men don't have the babies!  Sure, there are men (& some companies) out there who truly put their money where their mouths are in support of the work/family balance concept  The fact remains women have the babies and are disproportionately responsible for the duties of hearth and home.  And we feel guilty about it all the time.   I was a devoted reader of Ms. Magazine, read Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique, and used the title "Ms." when I married in 1973  AND I have always loved men and babies and I go to church!  I don't believe there is some vast "right wing conspiracy" to put us back barefoot & pregnant.   We honestly thought you could have it all!  And we were wrong.  You can't have it all, at least not effortlessly.  It will never NOT be incredibly stressful to be a full time worker and a mom, unless you are the Yahoo CEO who, with her own money, can build a nursery right next to her office.  Sadly, women's liberation is much maligned as having only been about bashing men, marriage, & children, and promoting lesbians & abortion.  It was about not forcing either men or women into artificially prescribed gender roles which rob all of us of all the gifts and talents INDIVIDUALS have to offer.  Sandra Day O' Connor finished law school in 1952 and worked for free just to be able to get her foot in the door!  We have made progress!  I don't have any pearls about how you lose the guilt about the mom side.  You might get some perspective by an exercise I ask my patients to do when they are facing a dilemma.  Make a list of everything positive about your current situation.  Then list all the negatives.  You might ask your husband for his views.  Which list is longer?  Good luck!

I appreciate your feedback, and yes, I completely understand what I've committed too. I thank God daily that I have a very supportive husband. We are actually in transition with him, as well, being medically discharged from the coast guard after 15 years, so once this long and drawn out process is over, then we will be more apt at making things work smoothly. My blog was simply to express the motherly feelings that I have in my transition phase, which if you were a young mother at the time of your blossoming advance practitioner career, you would, I hope, understand and be able to relate... I understood, when agreeing to write this blog, that the majority of my readers are in the same shoes that I am, so I wanted to let them know that they are not alone and that with networking, we can all band together and surge on...

Understand your outlook, am wondering if you understand the commitment you you have taken in advance practice. The expectations are high in the clinicians employment arena. Many women in the military and other nursing positions feel the same way.  You have to come to your own boundaries, understanding what positions entail.

Hopefully you have a strong family support.