Pass or Fail?
Greetings from the happiest place on earth: Disney World.
When I planned this trip months ago it was meant to be a celebration trip and
thank you to my family for sticking through the last 2 years of NP school.
In my mind I would have passed my school's comprehensive exam and the national
boards. Just a few weeks ago I panicked, again thinking in my head about the
possibilities of failure in either or both of those upcoming feats. Everyone
around me had no worries, telling me that they had no doubt that I would pass.
They, however, did not just cram 2 years' worth of various knowledge bases
throughout multiple lifespans into their heads. The more I reviewed materials,
the more I felt like I maybe had not retained all that I should have. Self-doubt
is a devious creature.
I scheduled my exit exam for the earliest available date I
could and was able to schedule my boards the day after. Why would I do that? I
just needed to get it done and over with. It was 2 days of acid producing,
nausea-filled days and sleepless nights.
Exam one was scheduled at 9am with an 8:45 a.m. check-in
time. I arrived early to park in the correct parking garage and walked to my
respective testing center. No one was there. Office closed and doors locked.
I spent the next hour waiting and then having to make my
way back to my car to retrieve my phone and figure out what to do. Needless to
say it did not aid in my already elevated anxiety and once tags were
straightened out, I was worried that taking the exam might not be such a good
Instead, I pushed through and passed my comprehensive
again. Phew. The next day was a different story. The new testing center was not
only open, but organized and ready to receive me. In fact, entering the exam
was like entering prison: Empty your pockets, turn them inside out, lift up
your pant legs, turn around, hands in your pockets.
My anxiety was in control until I sat down and saw what I
was doing there. AANP National Boards. I put on my lawn mower-looking provided
earphones and dove in. At the end of the exam, before they release if you
passed or failed, they ask you to answer a brief survey. Bad bad idea. In those
10 questions I felt my heart rate skyrocket and all I could click was strongly
agree, strongly agree until I saw the final words: PASSED. I could have cried
at that moment. Instead, I let out a huge sigh of relief and slowly headed to
The fact that I passed everything has still not sunk in.
Even after filling out malpractice paperwork for my new job and signing APRN as
my title. Now I just need to wait and pray that all of the licensing agencies
act hastily. Now I can relax, enjoy vacation and prepare to enter the workforce
in my new role!