Male Nurses and The Caring Touch
Mitch Woldt, BSN, RN, is a nurse at the University of Minnesota Medical Center in Minneapolis.
I am a male who recently became a registered nurse. Through college and my first few months working, I have noticed and felt many emotions. There are two main and important points I would like to share so others know and understand what it is like being a male nurse. I have talked to other male nurses who have had similar experiences.
First: we are known as good lifters. Second: as we try to give compassionate and empathetic care we live in fear of how our actions may be interpreted.
More Than Muscle
Male nurses are often the first ones to be asked to help lift patients. We do not mind helping, but we recognize the stereotype. It is not the worst thing to be sought out to help lift, but it is important to remember what some males can feel when always asked to do things like lifting and reaching. At times it makes us feel as though we are only there to help lift and not to care for our patients.
Adding to the problem that men are stereotyped as lifters and reachers is that males are still not seen as having a caring touch. The perception of some is that we are less sensitive, when in fact, we may be holding back on reaching out to our patients physically in fear that our actions may be perceived in the wrong manner. For this reason, it is understandable to still have a perceived notion of males not being as sensitive as females. The greatest consequence of stereotyping male nurses is the impact on our ability to give adequate patient care.
Fear of Touch
As a male nurse I try to challenge the notion that men are inappropriate in caregiver roles or incapable of providing compassionate and sensitive care. I have had family members comment to me that when I first introduced myself as their nurse they were a little afraid. By the time the shift was over, they were hoping I would be their nurse the next day. It is a great compliment, but the first reaction is still one I wish did not happen.
Even though we may love our jobs and look forward to coming to work every day, at times it is not easy to work with a sense of vulnerability and the continual need to be cautious while touching and caring for patients.
It is important to understand how some male nurses wish they could give caring touches, but what comes to our minds instead is what potential consequences could arrive. I fear at times female patients might be uncomfortable and/or misinterpret my touch.
I have seen two cases where a female client has accused a male physician or nurse of inappropriate touching. These situations make me think about my every move. It needs to be known why male nurses may hold back on the same caring touch female nurses give patients freely. It is not that we don't want to or can't, but that we are afraid of what could potentially happen.
Stereotypes
Another problem men in nursing face is the assumptions people make about our lifestyle. It is not easy wanting to be in a profession of helping people and wanting patients to feel better when we leave at the end of the day than when we first met them. I treat each patient how I would want my grandparents to be taken care of. It is not easy when patients or other staff members ask about your sexuality and make you feel as though you have to defend yourself.
I love getting asked the question, "Why did you choose to be a nurse?" when it is from someone who genuinely wants to know my answer. Having someone question my sexuality is very undesirable and can make me feel unappreciated.
It is neither easy nor desirable to have to live with the stereotype of men as sexual aggressors compounded by the stereotype that male nurses are gay.
I would like everyone to think about their actions and what can become of them. We do not always think of others and how they may feel from our own actions and words. As nurses we care about our patients and their health. It is time to think about our friends and colleagues and how they may feel by our actions.