'Tis the Season
This is the season to wonder. And I'm faced with wondering what the heck to write about. I really wanted to talk about joy and family and cookies and puppies and elves this year, but I just can't shake off the blahs.
I think part of the problem is that I'm not busy anymore. Since retiring, I don't have the concern of having to be somewhere at a specific time, and I don't have to try to find the time to shop and wrap gifts. No more Secret Santa, no more traveling hospital dinners, or the big party; no more schedule-swapping or arguing about which holiday you worked last year. Can it be true that I miss all that? It's like when you graduated from high school. You couldn't WAIT to get out of there, and the following year, you go back to check out what's going on since you left.
Not being busy leaves me way too much time to think about what I miss. I want to love the holidays again but thinking about it has made me a little sad. I can't remember the last time I bought a live tree, and it's been almost 5 years since I put one up at all or even decorated. I do have a wreath on the door, and a stocking hung over the woodstove, but that's it. I live alone, and away from my family, so if I want to spend this special time with them, I have to travel several hours to do so. And I do so gladly, because I love my family, but there's no point in my decorating my house just for myself.
I do, however, take great joy in knowing that I do have a home I could decorate, and a family that I will get to spend time with. Oh the love of my sister's homemade cookies, and the joy of watching the wonders of the season as seen through the eyes of my three perfectly wonderful little grand darlings. Shhhh! The elves are bringing them a puppy this year!
And would you look at that! I did write about wonder, joy, family, elves and puppies after all!
Happy Holidays everyone!