Building Your Resilience By Talking To Yourself
My mother called and told me I had to see the horror on television. It was September 11, 2001. I quickly reminded her that I don't watch upsetting things. She quickly told me I could not ignore this. She was right, and I did turn on the television.
I was always overly sensitive. I am not referring to the kind of sensitivity where one is upset by constructive or otherwise criticism, but overly sensitive to sad stories, situations or news. I had given up listening to the news years ago. I have to be alerted by family or friends when an important issue comes up that I need to know about, like when the towers were hit on 9-11. It is important to note that there are people who will always bounce back from adversity.
As an OT I work with others who are in real times of trouble. There are also times when my life is in chaos as well. It could be a challenging event, or a chronic situation that may not change, and you feel the effects of it on a daily basis. As the professionals we need to be objective in our work and be calm in the "eye of the storm." This is important to us as professionals if it is our storm or our client's storm. It is also important to us as professionals if our level of sensitivity is high and just hearing about a challenge or sadness makes us want to cry.
Through a lot of awareness into my own make up and ways to just be with a challenge, I have made progress in this area. After all, this is the work I want to do; I need to be able to do it calmly and not let it affect me adversely. Although I have found myself close to tears with a patient, I can muster the resilience to breathe through it and come back to baseline with some tricks I have learned from those who have inspired me with their strength and inspiration.
The ability to keep bouncing back is what I want!
What do you say to yourself in times of trouble? What do you say to yourself when you are not happy with your situation or with the situation around you?
When we find ourselves in difficult circumstances we are able to help ourselves by the use of strengthening self-talk. With a better way to communicate to ourselves we are better able to transform the stress into something useful and we can become more adaptable and much more resilient.
Several years ago I taught a stress reduction class and prior to the first class the participants would fill out a questionnaire. One of the questions was around the idea of our thoughts and sayings when we are in a challenging or stressful situation. One answer from a participant that really inspired me was the phrase, "This too shall pass." This participant said that repeating that phrase was her way of getting through her troubles.
This kind of thinking is also helpful to build resilience. It is not fluff or simply positive thinking. It is a conscious choice that can set in motion the opportunities not available when we do not think consciously or do not think at all.
Who does not need resilience in the chaotic times? Life at any time can be a time of intense change and even loss. Wouldn't it be wonderful to take the challenges and be able to bounce back from them?
Do you know anyone who may have lost his or her job, only to make the best of it? Did they look at the opportunities it afforded them, no matter how small?
Another saying I use is, "I can handle this," or "I have choices here." I may not see the choices, I may not feel as though I can handle it, but I am directing myself into another mindset and opening up to possible choices by attracting the opposite of what is going wrong!
Listen to what you say to yourself, either aloud or silently.
Is what you are saying helping you or hindering you?