Waiting for Results
Sometime soon, I will be receiving the results of my NCS examination. I'm not sure I'm ready to open the envelope. So far I've dismissed questions about it by saying I won't know until June. Now it's June. I'm going to find out.
I'm resigned to either outcome. I walked out of the testing center with no idea of how I did. Last year I felt confident when I left the GCS exam. I knew I would pass. I just wasn't sure how I would score. This year, from the moment I read the first question I knew I was in trouble. I had prepared. I felt ready. It wasn't what I expected. I keep telling myself on the positive side at least I know exactly how to prepare for next time.
Since that time, I've come to realize how much I did learn. Questions have come up that I knew answers to. I've been able to explain neuro-degenerative conditions without looking up the answers. I drew a wonderful diagram for someone to demonstrate the theory behind body-weight-supported treadmill for SCI patients. I couldn't have done that this time last year. I know I have the knowledge. I don't know if I passed the test.
Earning the NCS won't help advance me at work. It won't get me more money, although it might help the raise at annual review a little. It doesn't bring me more respect or increase my duties and responsibilities. Doesn't matter. I don't want it for those reasons. I want it as a personal achievement I set for myself.
My problem is I don't want to open the envelope. If I don't know, then I can continue on. I don't want to take that test again but I would. Right now, the thought of all that effort is weighing me down. I'm not usually one to back away from something but the envelope might sit for a few days.
If I do pass, I will have an interesting problem. I will have more letters behind my name than in my name. That's no problem for my electronic signature but will be a pain to write.