De-fusing Your Workplace

This time of year can be joyous, exciting and wonderful. But it can also be a time filled with sadness, stress and short fuses. The stress of the holidays can lead people to act in ways they normally wouldn't. Situations that are usually no big deal can take on overwhelming proportions.

As we come into the holiday homestretch, I thought it might be helpful to touch on how to diffuse difficult situations. Following a few simple steps can produce a pleasant outcome, even with the most dissatisfied client.

LISTEN without interrupting and with objectivity. Don't take it personally. In many instances, their frustration is not with you. They are venting and you are the unfortunate recipient. Listen to their words, but hear their heart. Sometimes this is the only step that is needed.

VALIDATE their feelings. Respond with an empathetic statement, "I understand you are upset about....I'm sorry for your inconvenience." You can do this without accepting responsibility for the incident. Even if, in fact, the client inflicted the pain upon themselves out of sheer stupidity, you can still show concern for their perceived anguish.

ASK them what solution they desire. The fact that you care enough to ask their input will go a long way to diffuse their temper. Many times someone knows they can't have what they want, but just having someone willing to listen to their ideas will calm them. Sometimes a situation escalates because we assume we know what the person wants. From our assumption, we offer a well-meaning solution that is unacceptable to the client. This makes the client feel misunderstood, like we weren't really listening, which only serves to increase their agitation. Avoid this pitfall by simply asking, "What outcome would be acceptable to you?" This also gives you insight as to whether the client has given the situation any productive thought or if they are just venting.

ACT. Do whatever you can to alleviate their angst. If it is not within your authority to act, immediately explain your limitations. Either personally take them to your supervisor or write down the supervisor's name and phone number and the best time for them to make contact.

These steps also work with disgruntled neighbors and family members! An unhappy camper is an unhappy camper and you treat them the same no matter from what aspect of your life they come. Here's to de-fusing your holidays-at work and at home!