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The Busy PT's Guide to Finding Balance

Bringing Balance to our Tragedy

Published July 1, 2009 8:55 AM by Janey Goude
As therapists we often see patients and families who have experienced devastating circumstances.  Many of us have had to walk through our own personal tragedies.  Tragedy requires grieving.  Grieving is healthy.  But what comes after grief?  Whatever the tragedy, we have a choice about how we live the remainder of our days.  When tragedy strikes, we can look to others who have experienced loss and turned tragedy into triumph.

At the age of eight, Nick Vujicic wanted to end his life.  He saw no purpose in his existence, nor any hope of a purpose being revealed.  Born without any limbs, Nick has only part of his left foot, more of a flipper really that he calls his chicken drumstick.  Today he travels the globe encouraging adults and children alike.  His demonstration leaves a lasting imprint.  He throws himself down on the table.  Lying there with no limbs it should be impossible for him to get up.  Yet he does.  He gets up!

Arthur Robinson and his wife, Laurelee, had prepared for every eventuality in their home school.  They'd taken one factor for granted: Laurelee would be there to teach their six children.  She went from healthy to deceased in 24 hours, leaving Arthur with six children, ages 12, 10, 9, 7, 7, and 17 months to care for; a house to keep; a farm to tend; and a full time job.  Their tragedy is now shaping the educational futures of thousands of families worldwide through a home school curriculum born out of necessity.

Scott and Rebecca Butcher received the heartbreaking news that their little girl had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS).  Annabelle would need to be born a hundred miles away from home in a hospital that would give her the best chance at survival.  She fared better than expected in her first surgeries and was able to go home for awhile.  When she was eight weeks and three days old, Annabelle's parents held their baby girl for the last time.  Out of their grief they founded an organization to help other families faced with this journey of HLHS.  Annabelle's Baskets gives families a sign that someone knows what it is like to spend their days in the hospital instead of at home...a sign that someone is thinking of them. 

We can spend the rest of our life tragically or triumphantly.  We can spend our last days dying or leaving a legacy.  Sometimes we just need someone to show us we have a choice.  If you know someone who is walking through a challenge or loss, gently encourage them to live.

posted by Janey Goude

3 comments

Stephanie,

Thanks for the kind words!  So glad you enjoyed.

David,

Thank you for your suggestion of honoring loved ones as a way to ease the painful journey of processing grief.  That is a unique perspective that will speak to many I am sure.

I appreciate you both reading and taking time to repsond!

Warmly,

Janey

Janey Goude July 3, 2009 1:15 AM

I have been to 6 funerals in the past 3 weeks during which time as I look down in the casket and muse, "they, that's younger than me!" That can really mess up your day! But for a hint an old man shared with me not so very long ago. Now how we handle grief is very individual, but why make part of it productive. Think of some aspect of the dear departeds personality that you admire, something they did much better that I did and decide to mimic as best I can that aspect. It is a neat way to honor their memory, and will help me be a better human while keeping a positive part of their memory in my life while making the process of me grief partially positive and productive. Having practiced this for several years, I can tell you that it helps me with my process, helps make me a better person, and is a good influence on those around me. When I share it with others, they very often come back later and say, "Thanks for making my load lighter!" It works, it really does!      

David July 2, 2009 12:52 AM
Middletown OH

WOW! What a great article!! Thanks Janey.

Stephanie R July 1, 2009 4:48 PM
Irmo SC

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