My Baby Wants to be Adopted
Be careful what you wish for.
It is so easy to see greener grass on the other side. Often we don't take time to think through the ramifications of our decisions.
My seven-year old, Abigail, announced, "I wish our family only had five people." We currently have six, so I was curious who had offended her most grievously. Turns out she wanted to oust herself! She wanted our family down to five, because she wanted to be adopted by neighbors with a little girl her age - her current best friend.
So I played along. We began to explore the far reaching implications of her decision: she would not only have different parents, she would have different siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Abigail would not have any big sisters. She wouldn't get to go shopping with her Nana and Bubba on weekends. She would have taken her last summer trip to King's Island Amusement Park and The Beach Water Park with Mimi, PopPop, and Aunt JuJu. She would have had her last girls' week with Aunt Niecey in Tennessee. She would never again see her Uncle DD or Aunt Sarah, nor would she get to see her cousin Georgia grow up.
My other daughter chimed in and reminded Abigail that she'd still have grandparents, just different ones. Abigail wasn't pleased at the thought, "They are really strict. One time when they were watching us, we had to sneak out just to get gum."
"Are they as strict as me?" I queried.
"Way more strict," came her reply.
I could hardly believe my ears. To hear her talk on any other day, I wouldn't have thought a "way more strict" existed!
We explored life beyond relatives. Her holidays would be different. She wouldn't spend Christmas or Thanksgiving with us anymore. No more cornbread dressing for Thanksgiving or shrimp for Christmas Eve dinner. "Well, I'd still come over to the house," she offered.
"No. Not unless you were invited. And we wouldn't have anyone your age to play with, so there'd be no reason for you to want to come over here," came the reply.
"Well, I would come see Bo (the dog)," she insisted.
"Nope. Bo doesn't like visitors, and you'd be a visitor. He'd bark at you and run from you just like he does everyone else if you didn't live here anymore," I answered.
She got the point after a little while. We let her know how glad we were that she'd be staying...that our family just wouldn't be the same without her.
How often do you make a decision without considering the far reaching implications? We live in a microwave society. We want results now. Unfortunately, that often means we only think of the impact now. Impact seldom affects only now. Now is the tip of the iceberg. The now for Abigail's adoption meant she would get to spend the night at her friend's house that night. The forever of that decision took on quite another meaning.
When you make decisions, consider long range. Count the cost, so you don't enter in to an endeavor without the resources - or the desire - to see it through to completion.