Being a Dad
Am I invisible when I go to the MD with my wife and children? Why do most of the health providers we see together look at me then talk to my wife?
Are they surprised that a father is taking an active role in their child's health and asking pertinent questions that relate to medication changes and is able to "talk the talk" when it comes to health related issues.
How many times have I done this when discussing a child's progress or an adult patient's mobility? I try not to. I will try to engage dad into a conversation when discussing the child and I certainly want to include the male patient into the conversation when talking to his wife.
Maybe it has to do with the way information is processed by dads. When I first found out about our daughters epilepsy I was standing outside of the Spa Casino in Palm Springs. I just finished lunch with co-workers and called my wife. My wife was emotional at the news and it took some coaxing to get all the information out of her. I felt numb and was quiet for the rest of the day until I could research it and digest it all and what it would mean for the family as a whole.
I didn't unload any of what I felt to those I worked with or those I knew. I kept it inside and read a lot about the diagnosis. I was organizing the information into how it can fit into my already hectic life and tried a way, any way, that I could change it or fix it to make it better for all of us.
Years go by and reality is what it is, I can't change it.
My dad was the go to guy when a big project needed fixing like a bike or a car. Mom handled all of the other stuff. The boo boos, the holding and hugging requirements that are needed when growing up.
I want to change that. I want to handle the big stuff like my dad did and the other stuff too. I don't want my children to only go to mom when they skin their knee. I enjoy being the one they ask for first. I am taking an active role in their health care but some providers make this difficult when they address all their comments to mom.