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PTA Blog Talk

Being a Dad

Published May 20, 2009 9:09 PM by Jason Marketti
Am I invisible when I go to the MD with my wife and children? Why do most of the health providers we see together look at me then talk to my wife?

Are they surprised that a father is taking an active role in their child's health and asking pertinent questions that relate to medication changes and is able to "talk the talk" when it comes to health related issues.

How many times have I done this when discussing a child's progress or an adult patient's mobility?  I try not to.  I will try to engage dad into a conversation when discussing the child and I certainly want to include the male patient into the conversation when talking to his wife. 

Maybe it has to do with the way information is processed by dads.  When I first found out about our daughters epilepsy I was standing outside of the Spa Casino in Palm Springs.  I just finished lunch with co-workers and called my wife.   My wife was emotional at the news and it took some coaxing to get all the information out of her.  I felt numb and was quiet for the rest of the day until I could research it and digest it all and what it would mean for the family as a whole.  

I didn't unload any of what I felt to those I worked with or those I knew.  I kept it inside and read a lot about the diagnosis.  I was organizing the information into how it can fit into my already hectic life and tried a way, any way, that I could change it or fix it to make it better for all of us.

Years go by and reality is what it is, I can't change it. 

My dad was the go to guy when a big project needed fixing like a bike or a car.  Mom handled all of the other stuff.  The boo boos, the holding and hugging requirements that are needed when growing up.

I want to change that.  I want to handle the big stuff like my dad did and the other stuff too.  I don't want my children to only go to mom when they skin their knee.  I enjoy being the one they ask for first.  I am taking an active role in their health care but some providers make this difficult when they address all their comments to mom. 

1 comments

%0d%0a%0d%0a   Hello Jason,I`m sooooo excited to have finally found you guys:%0d%0aJohnny,Jason ,John ,Katy!!!!!!!!!!!!%0d%0aWhen I took just one look at your picture I knew it was you!%0d%0aI really hope you guys are allright(and that Katy still has her beautiful long hair!) I also hope you remember me,Sasja,we used to live in the Jachthoeve in Houten,Holland, a lot of American people who worked at the military base in Soesterberg%0d%0a(where you guys went to school) lived there.We allways played outside with a lot of children.%0d%0aI was the dutch girl,same age as your brother John(nny),with the long brown hair that rode ponies and had a little sister Marijn,and an older sister,Inge.And our parents,Co and Fiep.%0d%0aI read all the peaces in this blog you wrote,nice,you seem a very dedicated father and worker, I myself work with older people,who , for different reasons,need help in their own house,%0d%0awith cleaning,shopping,making beds,preparing food,etc.%0d%0aI also keep an eye on their social contacts,whether they go out,see family,take their medicines,etc.%0d%0aThe people I work for are very gratefull,they welcome me with open arms and allthough the money is too litttle,and physically%0d%0ait`s getting too heavy for me,i do it with love.%0d%0aI have three sons,strong,healthy men, they are 5, 9 and 13 years old. Aron,Nelson and Niro.%0d%0aWell,for now I`ll stop writing,I do really hope I will hear from you ,want to know how you are doing!!!!!!!!!!!%0d%0aDoes Johnny still do karate,he was allways imitating Bruce Lee in tfront of our house...%0d%0aAnyway,lots and lots and lots of love to you all!%0d%0aSasja

sasja van den berkhof, healthcare June 16, 2009 10:14 AM
houten

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About this Blog


    Jason J. Marketti
    Occupation: Physical Therapist Assistant
    Setting: San Jacinto, CA
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