My son and I went to a men's lunch at my work not too long ago. As we sat there I tried to engage some of the men into conversation that would appeal to my son's knowledge of history.
There was one gentleman who was initially hesitant to speak but once he began to talk he dominated the conversation, only allowing interruptions to clarify a point. After lunch, myself and some of the other guys smoked cigars.
My son and I went in search of one gentleman who sometimes will speak openly about his war experiences in the South Pacific. He told several stories about his unit and after describing a battle he stated, "I lost my best friend that day." He paused for a long time and added, "I don't want to talk about that anymore." He was teary-eyed throughout most of our private talk together and within minutes he was describing his hat that he paid so little for but kept his head warm all year round. It was a great distracter.
Unfortunately, many of these private stories are being lost or not told to others. That man was part of history that people tend to forget. Does it mean as much to him who has experienced it as it does to those who collect it?
OK, I can hear it now: I am a health provider and how dare I smoke a cigar with my son present. What message am I sending everyone?
I have eaten vegetables, meat, potato chips, drank soda and water in front of my son and hardly anyone will bat an eye, yet if I sit around a table with the guys and smoke a cigar some will question why I would do that.
I do it because I am a man and that is exactly what I want my son to become.