Senior Physical Therapist
This was a difficult week. I celebrated a birthday and the holiday I took was nice, the company was delightful and the food was fantastic. Right afterward, though, I felt very old. That wasn't because I've suddenly received a load of spam advertising power chairs, singles over 50 or adult communities (although that didn't help). I've been enjoying reading about fellow bloggers' tales of starting PT school, graduating or celebrating a year in the profession. Those milestones are distant memories for me. I found my editor on Facebook and upon seeing his photo thought, "Crikey! I'm old enough to be his father!"
For some reason, suddenly a flood of self-doubt came over me. I wondered if I had made the right choice to move to the UK, start a new degree or risk the career and life I had in NYC on love. I seriously wondered if I was too old for all that. I've heard it said that, "If you find yourself stuck in your own head, get out fast ‘cause you're in a bad neighborhood!" I'm glad I didn't indulge in this line of thinking for long. It didn't change anything, nor could it, nor would I want it to. Helen Keller is quoted as saying, "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
It is normal to reassess our lives as we go along, particularly around major events or birthdays. It is just that as we get older, the options seem to decrease in number, and that is scary. This made me incredibly homesick! I longed to see a yellow taxi, a hotdog cart or Grand Central Station. Feeling insecure can make one long for the familiar. I have begun to think, "What will I do when I can't be a PT anymore?" I have started another degree to prepare for that time, but it will be very hard to someday let go of this particular familiarity. One of my fellow bloggers has already had to face this question, but what about you? What will you do when you can't practice PT anymore?