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PT and the Greater Good

Decisions! Decisions!

Published August 6, 2012 12:05 PM by Dean Metz

I have posted that there are limited opportunities for advancing my career right now here in the UK. But an opportunity has arisen in the US... a good one. Things are not likely to change much here in the near future. The NHS is still restructuring, while public health is moving from the domain of the NHS and devolving to the local authorities (town and city governments). Private industry is holding its collective breath while the fate of the EU and the economy remains uncertain.

The US opportunity is with a company that is growing by huge leaps and bounds. My partner is a university professor here. One of the reasons I moved here and not vice-versa was because my skills were so easily transferrable. Now that I've become more specialized, my options have narrowed. We are now facing at least a brief period of being apart. Relocation for my partner is a bit more complicated.

Many of the people living here have partners who work on oil rigs in the North Sea and may not see each other for many months on end. I thought it odd at first, but now I'm facing a similar scenario. Have you ever had to live apart from your partner for work? Would you take a job knowing that it would mean at least temporary separation?


Can't say I've experienced it with a partner, but with my family.  My dad was in the Navy, and it was six months in, six months out.  He was gone for half of my childood.  He retired from the Navy just before I graduated from high school.  He was separated from my mom for six months out of every year for a good part of their marriage.  I've always felt that it bonded our family and made us closer and stronger.  I'm extremely close to my parents, they are my best friends, and as far as how they handled it ... Well, they will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary next month.  ;o)  i think you and your partner are so strong, have endured so much, this will be just be a new temporary journey for you!  You've dealt with tougher battles than this!  Hugs!

Tammy Wrobel August 7, 2012 5:09 PM

Dean,  It's hard, but it can work.  When Jan got a professor ship in Iowa, I didn't want to live there.  It was assumed I would get a job and follow her as my job skills were at the time very transferable.  And I did get a job, but backed out because I just couldn't see myself living in Iowa.  We were together, long distance, 3 years.  We talked every night and saw each other every few months.  It would have been okay if there had been a real plan to have a way to be back together.  But that plan never materialized.  You need to work at how to have a future together, but you don't need to be in the same place to do that.

Beth Haskell August 7, 2012 4:58 PM
Brooklyn NY

Hi Dean,

It was the reverse for me and Chris. Chris' company transferred him down to Florida while I stayed behind to wrap up business in NY. I was also trying to find employment here before I came down. Eventually I had to take the chance and just come down without a job but the condo had been sold and our stuff was in storage awaiting transfer.

All told we were apart just over six months. We were lucky in that we were able to see each other for long weekends and the holidays. It was still tough living apart but we managed.

I wish you and Jay all the best during this transition. It won't be easy but I know you two will be fine. Good luck with the new Job.


Paul Kelly August 7, 2012 3:40 PM
Weston FL

I have no real words of wisdom or advice...other than "good luck"!  Tough to make those decisions.  

Lisa Mueller August 7, 2012 1:57 PM

It can be done. One therapist I knew saw her partner every 6 months and this lasted over three years, they are finally together and very happy.

Jason Marketti August 6, 2012 9:09 PM

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About this Blog

    Dean Metz
    Occupation: Staff Development Specialist
    Setting: New York, NY – Newcastle Upon Tyne, Great Britain
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