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Peds Place

Knowing Too Much

Published April 7, 2009 6:44 PM by Stephanie Scarbrough
A close friend of mine is expecting. She also works in neo/peds, so what should be a happy occasion, is a time of nerves. We know too much.

Things like alveolar capillary dysplasia and Cornelia de Lange syndrome are floating through her head. I can't say I know how it feels. I've never had children, but I was a wreck when my sister was pregnant with both of my nieces. I truly don't think I could breathe easily until she hit 36 weeks in either pregnancy and I knew all fingers, toes and heart chambers were accounted for.

So how do I ease her mind? We see the worst of the worst and we both know these complications and syndromes don't happen often. It's just hard to separate that from how much of the "uncommon" we see.

One dear friend has the most adorable son born with Down syndrome. Another friend had a 28-week preemie and saw him on the oscillator. And there's another girl whose son has Duchenne.

I'm an honorary aunt on this one, so it's my job to help out through it all. Any ideas on how to make her worry less? How have you handled things when it hits close to home?

Stephanie

3 comments

Thanks so much for your suggestions! They seem to work well and I think she is relaxing into her pregnancy.  I appreciate all of the help!

Stephanie Scarbrough May 5, 2009 6:46 PM

Oh what a walk down memory lane. When I got pregnant I was just starting to work in a huge level III NICU in Richmond, VA, what a nighmare I was to my poor obstetrician. At 28 weeks I was convinced my child had Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia, it was only in my head. My saint doctor agreed to a fetal ultrasound (this was back in 1991), and I was able to breath until I counted heart chambers fingers, toes, stomack bubble, intestines and brain ventricles. Believe me, this is not a healthy way to be pregnant, I ended up delivering early at 35 weeks, she's fine. A baby is a gift from God and He will take care of both of you. So enjoy this pregnacy!

Wanda, NICU - RRT April 30, 2009 4:49 PM
FL

I can understand. I was nervous when I was pregnant also, but worrying isn't going to prevent it.   Actually, the stressing over it can cause problems. She just has to know that she is doing everything she is supposed to be (eating healthy, etc.) and no matter what happens, she did the best she could with what was in her control.  God handles the rest, I suppose. Also, pointing out the rarity of most of these "complications"  in the general population helps.  That # seems to be vastly increased in our minds when we work with it everyday.  I just tried to not think about it. We see lots of patients with all kinds of problems, it doesn't mean we will grow old and get them too, ya know.  Enjoy the pregnancy, don't waste it away worrying about what could be...enjoy what is.  :)

anonymous , RRT April 26, 2009 8:00 PM

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