Products, Style & Advice for the Modern Healthcare Professional
The Common Cold: Only Cute in Stuffed Form
Take a look at our microbes plush toys.
Dear Cold That Won't Quit,
This is getting a little bit out of hand. Three and a half weeks? At first I thought you were just a little bout of allergies, but now it's become shockingly apparent that you are, indeed, the Common Cold.
Sure, as one of the common cold microbes plush toys, like in that picture over there, you're all cute and cuddly, and the ADVANCE Healthcare Shop has your buddies Sore Throat, Cough and Ear Ache. So do I, and I hope they're good company for you, because they're no friends of mine.
I've tried to make you shoo with cold medicine (day and evening!), cough drops (ick), vitamins, lots of water and cough medicine that tastes how I would imagine gasoline tastes (though the medicine claims to be virtually tasteless!). No dice, so here I sit, annoying coworkers with my coughing, contemplating buying stock in tissue companies and having heard "bless you" more times than most people do in a lifetime.
My only consolation is how cute you look as one of the microbes plush toys. Look at those big sad eyes! Out of your friends White Blood Cell, Red Blood Cell, Sore Throat, Ear Ache, Flu, Brain Cell, Fat Cell, Stomach Ache and Cough, you are the cutest plush microbe of all, you little plush germ you. I know that while Flu's a media darling right now, you're still behind the scenes, wreaking havoc and working undercover for the chicken soup industry.
While as a microbes plush toy, a cuddly little stuffed germ, you're pretty cute, I'm going to have to give you the boot. You've outstayed your welcome, so consider yourself evicted from Lynn, Common Cold. I think White Blood Cell plush microbe is cute, too, and he's about to show you what's what.
Don't worry. It's not forever. I'm sure you'll be back next year, right around this time, and we can battle again. Go "bug" someone else now, though. You had a good run, and it's time for us to go our separate ways.
With Sincerest Apologies,