Autism Spectrum Across Ages and Environments

Thoughts for Thanksgiving Hugs

I love to hug children

Hugs feel so good

I'd hug them every day

If only I should.

But hugs are for parents

Grandparents and such

Professionals should go with

High fives, knuckles and thumbs up.

Today, on Thanksgiving

Give your family your best

Squeeze them with hugs

Save high fives for the rest.

 

 

 

 Kathie, I see all of the typical developing children in my elementary and middle school giving high fives, thumbs up and knuckles to their teachers and peers. Yet when it comes to children with autism and other disabilities, the same age child is hugged and gives hugs. I'm worried that we, as professionals, are teaching untypical behaviors. What are your thoughts on SLPs hugging children with autism?

Janet, SLP

 

 

 

Kathie's Tips: High five for asking that question, Janet. I'm very opinionated about hugs to children with autism and with all disabilities. I feel so strongly that I even wrote my Thanksgiving poem around your question.

I want you to know this first: I'm a very warm person and I love hugs -- both getting them and giving them. My grown son has autism and I have always hugged him. But Doug is my son and I have always explained to him that it is ok to hug your mother. In fact, many times I ask Doug, "Have you hugged your mother today?"

Reasons SLPs and other professionals should NOT provide hugs:

• Children with autism/disabilities do not know when to stop hugging
• Children with autism/disabilities do not discriminate who they hug
• Children with autism/disabilities do not discriminate how hard they hug
• Children with autism/disabilities scare people when they hug
• Children with autism/disabilities hug beyond the appropriate age
• Children with autism/disabilities often hug for sexual stimulation
• Children with autism/disabilities do not discriminate what a hug is for or its appropriateness
• Children with autism/disabilities do not discriminate what environments are appropriate for hugging

If we do not teach young children alternatives to hugs, the rules changes for them as they get older and that is not fair. It is the failure of the professional, not the child, but it is the child, now teen or young adult, who will be ostracized by society and confused by what he/she has been taught.

How do I start changing this hugging behavior?

1. Watch other students in your school
2. Watch teachers with typical developing children in your school
3. Watch peer to peer interactions at all grade levels
4. If you have a hugger, watch the reaction of the people they hug
5. Start with yourself
6. Share this information with parents/grandparents/caregivers

• Divert the hug with a gentle hand and give a high five
• Divert the hug with a gentle hand and give a thumbs up
• Divert the hug with a gentle hand and give a knuckle to knuckle
• Do role-playing and have peers practice
• Tell the office staff what you are doing and practice with a walk through
• Don't forget the school custodian/lunch workers, share this goal for a great place to practice with other adults

This is pragmatics in action. It is speech therapy. It will avert bullying (for this reason anyway).

Thank you for your hugging question, Janet. If you have a question, e-mail me at kathieh2@cox.net

"Speech pathologists make good things happen."