School Shooting & Asperger's

Thank you all soooooo much for taking the time to leave such thoughtful and in-depth comments on my Autism Blog. This tragedy has not only touched lives in CT but our nation and the way we MUST look at how we educate and raise our children with social language issues.

I am busy writing a new book, "Meaningful Action," (a term used by President Obama after this tragedy). The book will be directed toward social language strategies that parents need to employ in the home environment. It will be supported by sound advice from SLPs ~ like you.

Please come back and comment on my blog posts often. You are appreciated and the discussion is welcome.

As a parent of a 14 year old with Aspergers Syndrome, our family has spent every school year advocating for his needs.  IEP is writtten, everything sounds good, than the school does nothing.  We usually have 4 to 6 IEP meetings a year and still just empty promises.  The bullying never stops and after what happened in Sandy Hook, my son got death threats, he is truly traumatized.  He is a sweet kid who has never hurt anyone.  Yes his social skills are delayed, but he is a very bright boy.  The problem is his fine motor skills, he has a written processing dyslexia so writing is hard for him.  At this point we have pulled him from school until they can assure his safety and have filed a complaint with the State Board of Education.  I always ask the team members when they think I am over advocating "What if this was your child, wouldn't you want the educators to folow his IEP."  Not once in five years have I gotten a response.  We are so frustrated, luckily we have a good counselor outside of school and an OT outside of school, since the district OT always forgets our son.

I am a speech pathologist but do not work with peds.  My experience with ASD comes from my daughter who was dx with a "sensory difference" at age 2 yrs and eventually Aspergers at age 8.  At age 15, she is very gifted in many academic skills but socially she is far behind her peers.  Between the ages of 2-9 yrs, she would have temper tantrums mostly screaming with her hands over her ears and throwing things, occasionally she would hit people.  I never felt she premeditated any of these behaviors, however, and it seemed they were related to a sensory discomfort such as a noise or if people weren't watching their proximity to her ( she is very adversive to soft touches).  My daughter has language so she is not true Kanner syndrome autism and those children would definitely not be able to carry out an attack like Sandy Hook.  Also, as noted in the Harrington's article, there are frequently comorbidities such as OCD that go along with ASD though it is NOT considered a mental illness. I believe that is why so many parents will accept the label of ASD but not mentally ill because of the social stigma associated it.  Programs aren't being created to help the mentally ill but rather are being shut down so people like Adam Lanza (who no doubt had some degree of mental illness) will continue to be pushed under the rug until another tragedy happens.  The mother was a victim, she probably had no true supports to help her find a suitable way to help her son without stigma and judgement.  If I were in her shoes, I would be thankful that my son killed me.  No way could I live with myself if I knew I provided the weapons that killed all those beautiful children and the adults who tried to help them.

I do not understand why there has been such minimal discussion and recognition by the media of the psychotropic drug he was on that has violent behavior as a side effect. Perhaps I got this from an unreliable source, but I feel it is of very great concern that we look at the pharmacological end of this.

I would appreciate it if the local/state/national media would do their professional research prior to using the words "autism" and "violence" in the same sentence.  As a former and experienced SLP in a public elementary school, I was fortunate to work with many students on the spectrum.  Although each of my students was unique, I never observed a violent outburst JUST BECAUSE the student had a diagnosis of autism. Shame on the media for reporting inaccurate/distorted information to the public.  Their readers and listeners deserve better!

I think it is arrogant to believe you are the only one who knows what the system offers and if his mother pursued services. She sounded devoted even if unrealistic.

The truth is that there are behavioral challenges, especially at and after puberty and there ARE co-existing mental illnesses with Autism: OCD, Anxiety, bipolar disorder, etc- and that is really the dirty little secret. Parents are not given the Mental health resources to deal 2 separate co-existing disorders.

Vanie, I hear you and my heart goes out to your family. I too have worked with children like this. The family must be vigilant 24-7. Yes, it is ASD but it goes so much deeper and there is no one answer to cover these problems. The bigger, the stronger, the harder! Temple Grandin talks a great deal about medications for anxiety. I encourage you to look into some of her work and publications.

What I do discourage is putting him in classes with emotionally disturbed students. I have a horror story about that but I don't think this is the time to tell you.

Keep helping your family and be there for them. "Blessings everyone."

Sandra, I am so NOT blaming the mother for her son's actions of this extreme rage. I would like to think that ALL parents try their best. But I do question why she would choose an arsenal of weapons to train her child who it is reported to have always had mental issues. Yes, the other son, is reported as typical. I do feel that was irresponsible.

One thing that I have noticed in the media is that they are not counting Nancy Lanza as a victim. They say 26 were murdered. There were 27. She did not see, or plan, or in any way want this to happen. She too, was a victim at her son's hand, by a weapon she legally owned.

I think all of us wish we had more answers. Thank you for your comment.

I have a grand nephew who is now 8yo was diagnosis as autistic - Aspersers at about 3.  slow development delay, walked at 3, has had OT,PT,SLP and Psychiatrist on a regular basis throughout his life, He is in regular school, non social, excellent vocabulary, has been on a variety of meds to aid in focus, behavior.  Several months ago his Grandmother and I witnessed an episode of RAGE--in your face 'I will kill you', hitting his mother, beating on himself, shouting red faced.  This went on in a restaurant for nearly 15 minutes.  When his lunch appeared the episode stopped as if it had never happened.  At 8 he weighs 85 lbs - he is no longer able to be physically restrained by his mother, he has run away down the middle of a busy street, the police brought him home, ran away from school was sent to a psych facility for nearly 2 weeks with drugs and therapy. Went to see a Psychiatrist and exploded into a rage, ran around the office, torn up items, hit his mother, yelled 'I'm going to kill you' to both of them - got right in their face to tell them that and then it stopped -- Psychiatrist had never seen anything like this episode in his career - we need to up his meds to get him under control.  My niece lives with his child as a single parent whose father thinks there is nothing wrong with him and he shouldn't be on meds.  it is now felt that he has other underling psych diagnosis.  In our hearts of heart we see this child either killing his parent or someone or being institutionalized for the rest of his life as a threat to society or himself.  Not all mental illness can be cured or even controlled.  And once an adult they can refuse drugs, wondering the streets and the results what we have experienced this past week - killing of innocent people who happened to be in the right place at the wrong time.. Treating mental illness or autism is only part of the problem - finding a cure would be even better.  stats tell us that 1 in 54 boys and 1 in 85 girls are born with autism..  This is worst than polio and there needs to be money spent to find out why it happens..  cute kids grow up to be adults who are difficult to manage in our society..

I agree with your comments about attempting to challenge news reports blaming autism on this young man's problems.  However, you became another "politically correct" and misinformed consumer when you made disparaging remarks about his mother and her interest in guns and going to shooting ranges. We should never judge her motives in this endeavor. She is not here to defend herself. the parents all too often shoulder the blame for individuals with mental health issues, but no parent can force appropriate decision making and mora behavior-- we can only model and guide. which this mother reportedly did. she has another son who is quite successful and nothing like the shooter. lPerhaps she was attempting to instill in him gun safety and respect for life. We also need to keep in mind that she owned these guns legally and that it was the man behind the guns that did the killing. I had wanted to share your writing initially but was terribly disappointed after reading through. Blaming parents on the behavior of their adult children really needs to be reexamined in our culture. Gun control is not going to solve this nations problem with mental health issues. People will just find other avenues to be destructive.  Better treatment and identification is required prevent this type of tragedy.

So well stated, Donna. I think it is our job to never forget. To help the children that come our way in any manner we can. These children are part of families and as I preach on a regular basis, the parents need YOU too. So demonstrate sound therapy techniques for them and include them when you can.

Acts of kindness need to be passed on daily. Lets all start today, in the name of mankind, our communities, our profession, ourselves, and for the souls who represented all our children in this small town in CT at what should be a joyous time of the year.

"Silent Night."

This is sad beyond my imagination.  How I have cried for these families, Adam, and his mother.  Our communities need to come together for the betterment of mankind.  Where is the lov?.Lets be pro attentive, and not active after the sad actions.  We are brilliant people and we should be able to keep our children safe in every community.

Haya, thank you for bringing this mom, also a victim into this discussion. My, I feel her pain, when she could feel pain. I've heard a lot on the media about what a wonderful woman/mother she was and tried so hard to raise a son with what are probably multiple handicaps. It's not easy to raise typical children many times and a divorce didn't help.

I do question why she taught a child/young man who had deep, deep issues to shoot a gun. Here again, from what is reported, he has always had isolation/social problems. I think if she were still here we would be able to know more about that. Perhaps the father or other son will add some light to it eventually.

With all children ~ disability or not ~ we have to be careful what we teach our them. What we, as parent love and value, so will they. In my opinion, this mother chose the wrong thing - guns. It is not that she would have ever thought that Adam would have done what he did but his world must have been one of fantasy. She died in that fantasy.

Like you, I hope that our nation can learn from this horrific event. It needs to start at the dinner table, on our knees with our children at bedtime, with our neighbors, in our communities, and in the social aspects of kindness to everyone.

Let there be peace on Earth.

I was so glad to read your comments as I,too,do not believe Autism can be blamed for this hideous crime. I have been in the field of education for 50 years as a Speech Pathologist, Audiologist. Lexington School for the Deaf trained (oral) teacher,Special Education Teacher,regular teacher, supervisor,administrator,curriculum writer,researcher,and now a tutor all over the world. My work with autistic children did not leave me to believe that they are violent. I think the reasons which you stated played a role in helping him to be a misfit.Why did the mother take him to a shooting range? had she received no counseling?parents did not communicate? Meet the Pres this past Sunday had an excellent discussion-thank you for your input.

Your comment and concern is heard loud and clear, Sue. NEVER leave an IEP without written goals for adequate social/pragmatic benchmarks. All parents should not need to "fight" for that, it should be part of a good IEP. I never want to hear again that this does not "impact education." Social skills IMPACT LIFE. I have always had my own son's back and I continue to do so. I promise, you, Sue, I have you child's back as well.

Hug your child today for both mother and child.

I share your sorrow and grief so deeply.

I appreciate all what you've said, it's so true and so important. However, as a Speech-Language Pathologist and a mom, I must say that this guy's mom is just a victim as he is. After all he murdered her too. You must know this feeling of hopelessness, not knowing about autism, with a "difficult to deal with" kid and later teenager and young man. I can assume her encouraging to be there in shooting lessons was kind of a way to express his feelings, he couldn't express in other "traditional" ways because of his ASD and apparently lack of professional support to overcome this obstacle. All I'm saying is that, Parenthood is hard enough and having a kid with ASD, lack of spouse support, and maybe also social support.. all make it even harder for a mother to bare.

God bless all.

As the mother of a 4 year old qho will be mainstreamed in Kindergarten, I want to thank you for putting into words what I have been asking myself the last few days.%0d%0aFor al the parents who will be attending IEP meetings for thier little ones I beg you to fight for the social aspects of ASD to be a main part of your childs short and long term goal writen into the IEP. Do not let the social,speech and language aspects be down played due to academic gains your child is making.