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My Husband Sides With Others Against Me, How should I respond to this?

Last post 04-02-2017, 11:02 PM by hoa hero. 6 replies.
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  •  11-04-2016, 9:57 AM

    My Husband Sides With Others Against Me, How should I respond to this?

    I have 2 jobs as an English teacher in France. My night job is 6 hours a week. The boss at my night job, delayed paying me for several weeks, then decided to break my contact and fire me because he says, that the students said I lost my temper in class. In the presence of my husband I attempted to defend my professional character by asking , in what way was it reported that I had lost my temper? Was I verbally abusive? Did I insult anyone? did I slam a desk? A chair? A door? To all of this the proprietor of the school replied in the negative, and was unable to say in what way I lost my temper. My husband opened my folder, and pointed out some negatives about me. "You have no right to teach pronunciation of the word 'laughing' " So I said, "should I allow the students to say Lohin?" As that is how french people who are ignorant of pronunciations speak out the word 'laughing'. Then he went on to say that I should not teach body parts like Knee. I should allow the students to say K-Nee.
    In every attempt of defending myself , my husband went against me in the presence of the proprietor.
    On the way home, he went on to say that if that was his mother what he would have done. So I asked him why is his mother better than me? He can't produce an answer. I am getting real tired and frustrated of his ignorance on how to be a husband or a friend.
    In my culture, if one has a friend, not necessarily a best friend. Any friend, and you and this friend go where you must defend yourself from characterization and criticism, this friend of yours, should not point out your faults in the presence of your nemesis, but should what till you are alone to speak privately about your faults.
    I really do not know what I should do about my husband unsupportive behavior. I am tired of him breaking our appliances, television and computer when he gets angry. I am tired of him accusing me of sexually harassing him. He seems happy when I sleep on the couch.
    I welcome suggestions right now on how to deal with this situation. please be respectful. thanks
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  •  11-20-2016, 10:24 PM

    Re: My Husband Sides With Others Against Me, How should I respond to this?

  •  11-21-2016, 2:52 PM

    Re: My Husband Sides With Others Against Me, How should I respond to this?

    Sorry I'm not really an expert, but personally I think there is something wrong or troublematic deep down behind the way you and your husband communicate with each other. When there is a problem which is not solved or openly shared, we tend to easily react to everything, even a simpliest error can drive us mad. For now I think it is good to travel/ go somewhere to calm down. And then after that you and your husband can sit down and openly talk and share self-problems with each other. Of course judgement and anything like that should be avoided cuz it will spark another flame of war, we dun want it to happen that way. It's best to try to listen and understand, soon both will find answer for the current situation.

     


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  •  11-23-2016, 11:51 PM

    Re: My Husband Sides With Others Against Me, How should I respond to this?

    I think that your husband has tensions that's why he break home appliances. the thing about mother never any person thinks that the girl who is living with me leaves her home, parents especially mom just for him it is wrong if he gets on mom's side respect is another thing but you have no right to insult your partner who is living with you. It is very wrong that you are insulting you partner in front of other people who are not member of your family.
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  •  12-07-2016, 11:43 PM

    Re: My Husband Sides With Others Against Me, How should I respond to this?

    I agree with you addison cave the thing is if you have problems from any matter discuss in your room but insulting in front of others is not right thing.
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  •  01-12-2017, 4:47 AM

    Re: My Husband Sides With Others Against Me, How should I respond to this?

    ya addison cave i clarify your line that mom's respect is the other thing but you should have respect to your partner also. give priority to both mom and wife.
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  •  04-02-2017, 11:02 PM

    Re: My Husband Sides With Others Against Me, How should I respond to this?

    . He seems happy when I sleep on the couch.
    I welcome suggestions right now on how to deal with this situation. 
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