I graduated from nursing school in 2007 and I did not start working as a nurse until summer of 2008 because of personal reasons.  However, my first job as a New Grad in the OB department did not go too well, there were days when I find myself not happy and not enjoying what I was doing because I felt the pressure to complete my tasks on time and ensure my patients well being and safety at the same time.  At first, all I ever wanted to do in nursing was to go into Maternal/Child health, now I'm not sure about it anymore because the one thing I fear the most is having to resuscitate a newborn.  I feel so lost because I don't know if I should try a different area of nursing.  I didn't enjoy med-surg in nursing school, and my overall experience in nursing school was horrible, there were so many days that I've cried during and after coming home from clinical days due to the pressure and hectic demands that comes with being bedside nurses.  I've wanted to quit nursing school so many times and sometimes I feel that I should have never went to nursing school because when I was in high school, I've told myself that I will never be a nurse after seeing how stressful nurses were, but when I went to college, my mother was sick often and she had some misunderstanding during her last birth experience and that is what change my mind to go into nursing because I wanted to be more knowledgeable about health care so I can help my mom.  However, I'm not sure if I can handle the stress and criticism anymore.  I don't know if I want to be a nurse anymore, but then I don't know what else I would enjoy doing because I do like helping people to become healthy and recover from their illnesses and it makes me feel good at the end of the day when my patients give me smiles and thank me for the care I've given them.  Then again, I keep finding myself to be unsure of continuing to be a nurse due to too many tears I've shed from the stressful work environment I'm in.  Well, if anyone has any feedback, it would be greatly appreciated.      

Dear Xue,

Hi!  I just read your post and I can completely identify with what you are feeling.  I am glad you had the courage to express yourself.  It beats bottling it up inside you and letting it eat you up.

I would encourage you to look for a position in a non-traditional setting.  Not everyone is cut out to be a hospital nurse.  I myself currently work on an Assertive Community Treatment Team.  I enjoy my work, but in spite of me not having my own caseload of persons that I serve  (the cases are shared by all the team members), I still struggle with getting my paperwork done in a timely fashion.

I have also worked with Develomentally Disabled Adults & in Geriatrics.  The people in these populations can appreciate kindness & gentleness (which I believe is one of the qualities a nurse has to have to be effective with these folks).  I think it is a natural carry- over from OB-GYN nursing.

Lastly, I would encourage you to develop your spiritual life. I believe there is a Higher Power that can guide you to where you are meant to be. 

Most of all don't lose hope.  Every moment is a new beginning.

Peace & Blessings,

Mary  (cont0209@yahoo.com)

Give yourself some time.  Life experiences can certainly change your outlook.  In the meantime, you might try looking for work in a physician office.  Also, you may find it helpful to know that there is a large move in data entry for ICD-9 as it has gotten much more specific over the last few years.  Depending upon where you live, there are short classes on how to do research which has a growing need.

I wish you luck as we still need nurses.  But to say it's easy is not totally truthful.  I now work in staff development and I know I would not want me for a clinical nurse at this time.  The volume of information continues to escalate. 

Dear Xue Yang,

I just found your post and wish I discovered it sooner.  Don't leave nursing...it's the best profession to be in because of it's versatility.  Your heart is in nursing (which is the most important in choosing a career), but it seems you haven't found the right place for your talents yet.  There are many, many other non-hospital settings where nurses apply their skills and talents.  Your interest in working with children - think about school nursing, managed care companies with a pediatrics department (like Kaiser, etc.), local public health agencies, etc.

What about case management - there's no direct patient contact, but you may enjoy it. What about out-patient clinics?  You seem to be a gentle and kind person, and palliative (similar but is not hospice) nursing needs nurses like you. Another thought is go back to school for your master's. 

Don't give up nursing...the right job/position will come along.

Marti