I just read one of those dreaded anonymous chain e-mails. I don't normally pass along this type of thing, but thought these were somewhat amusing. I can't vouch for their authenticity -- they're supposedly real-life quotes from managers at major U.S. corporations.

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."

And my personal favorite...

"If I wanted your status report tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!"