I'm working in an internship position now and it has been so stressful. I sob just about every day and I'm not a person who normally cries much. I just feel so overwhelmed and rushed into so much responsibility. I saw there is a support group forming here and there I read things that hit it to the T: I'm adjusting to nights, the pace, the long shift, a new location (I moved here to continue my relationship with my boyfriend because we hope to get married next year), new charting, equipment, and on top of that...I'm trying to stay healthy by sleeping and exercising and maintaining a good relationshipwith my boyfriend and family and friends hundreds of miles away. I hold myself to high standards. I want to complete care quickly and timely, but I also wnat to talk to the patients, get to know coworkers, look up meds and diseases, and I just CAN'T do it all! My loan repayment is quickly approaching and that will sap almost all of my income as I have over 50k to repay for private education. I am a Christian and I try to pray about this and see purpose in these tasks and I try to be optimistic about this "growing" experience, but I feel so weak...like I'm swimming against a current. I know starting new jobs is almost always stressful, but the responsibility and pressure is hitting me hard. I'm so worried about giving a wrong med, getting repremanded for not charting right, not noticing trends of a deteriorating patient, and the list goes on...

some nurses have been so impatient with me. And i can see their frustration on their faces and body language, even if they don't voice it. It makes me so nervous and I make mistakes, stutter, and do stupid things like never before. I'm so discouraged, but I have over a year left of my commitment. And the only relief I have is that this job pays alright and it's only 3 days / week. I live for the days off...and that's sad.

I really like the unit that I'm working on now, but because of all of my anxiety and frustration, I know I'm not making an accurate impression. I don't even watn to tell the manager I'm interested in working there, because I don't want to be turned down.

 Any advice, encouragement, comments?

 

I know exactly what you're feeling because I've been there myself... in ALL of the aspects that you talked about. While I still face some of the issues you talked about, I have to say that things are getting BETTER, and they will for you too; just hang in there! I know exactly what you mean about the crying, but don't feel bad about it. You need to let out all the emotions. I cried a lot too, especially in the beginning (I'm now 8 months in). I just try not to cry at work, and wait until I get to my car at the end of my shift. Try writing in a journal, that also helps. Use your family, friends, and boyfriend as support. You'll definitely need to develop a STRONG support system. If you're on orientation or just getting off orientation and you feel like you're unfairly being rushed, speak to someone about it. Ask to have a lighter assignment for a few days so you can catch up with yourself and get a handle on everything. Nights is tough too, there's just no denying that. But, there are things you can do to help your body. I found that I sometimes came home from work frustrated, tired, angry, and anxious because of everything that happened during the night. When I felt this way, it was hard to sleep during the day. So now, no matter how tired I am, I don't sleep right after I get home. I take time for myself, to relax and unwind before going to bed. Eat a nice breakfast, watch some TV, and reflect on the shift before going to bed. Also, try to work at least two nights in a row, ideally 3 so your body can get used to sleeping during the day. To sleep better, put up blackout curtains, they really help. If you don't want to go through the trouble of curtains, then you can place dark posterboard/cardboard over your windows to block out the light. It's not as effective as the blackout curtains, but still a big help. Also, use white noise or ear plugs to block out noise. White noise can be as simple as turing a fan on while you sleep. Charting and equipment is tough to get used to and will just take time. But, if you have questions ALWAYS ASK someone. If I have a rough, complicated night, I still ask an experienced nurse to look over my notes to make sure I charted everything correctly and didn't forget anything. It's very important to exercise and stay healthy. But, unfortunately I can't offer any advice there, it's something I'm still trying to figure out. When I first started working, I lost some weight because I was always so stressed. Now, I've gained some weight because with working nights I'm either not eating enough, or eating too much. I also work so hard that I feel like it's my right and entitlement to eat whatever I want when I want. Before working, I was a health nut, always worked out and took great care of myself. Ironically, after becoming a nurse I lost those qualities. I still struggle with staying healthy because I'm always too stressed or tired to take care of myself. However, the one thing I started doing that really helps is yoga. It is very relaxing and you end up toning your body. I highly recommend enrolling in a yoga class at a communty college or something. As far as time management goes at work, it just takes time. Don't be so hard on yourself about time management. You'll get there, in time. The most important thing is to provide safe and effective care. I am a perfectionist (as many nurses are) and it was very hard in the beginning for me to accept that time management comes with experience. If you get behind, ask for help. You're not a bad nurse if you need a little help until you've mastered time management. This leads me to the next thing that I had a lot of trouble with- asking for help. I've always been great at everything I've done, and never needed anyone's help. I thought that I passed my boards, finished orientation, and therefore, I should never need anyone's help and I shouldn't have any issues with time management. This is not true. Time management will get better with experience and it's okay to ask for help. Believe me, I don't have the best coworkers either, but there is always at least one person on my shift who I am comfortable asking for help, or asking questions. If you have any concerns about your patient or don't know if something is significant, ask someone else what they think. Just let the person know that you appreciate their help and that they were a good resource. If the person was annoyed with all your questions, it will be hard for them to stay annoyed once you show your appreciation. When dealing with coworkers overwhelm them with kindness. No matter how angry/upset/frustrated you are with your coworkers try not to let it show and just be the nicest person to them. As far as your loans go, you're making good money and they'll get paid off. Work out payment plans and save a lot. Be smart about your money, but definitely don't stress about it because if you're doing everything you can you'll be fine. I know this was long, but I hope it helps. These are just some things I've realized along the way. I wished someone told me these things when I first started out.

I'm also a May new grad who started on a tele/dou floor.  The up side is that I did a two-semester "externship" during my last year of school on that floor on the night shift.  (Externships is a work study program where nursing students half way through their program work with a preceptor in a hospital, usually one 12hr shift/wk and you get college credit, money (about $20/hr + shift diff in the San Diego area), and valuable experience).

As to nights, I LOVE working nights.  I worked full time nights all through nursing school.  I struggled to adjust to nights the summer before I started nursing school, and I have some suggestions that I found helpful.

1. I highly recommend window film that blocks sunlights plus blackout curtains.  I tried the eye mask thing, but it drove me crazy.  2. Protect your sleep.  Turn off the phones, let everyone know you are not available during the day.  You aren't rude enough to call them at 2am, and so they can't call you at 2pm.  3. Ceiling fans, oscillating fans, AC is a must to help your body sleep while the sun is shining.  It mimics the cooler nights but also provides white noise.  4. If by 9am I am not feeling tired, I take a benadryl.  To start with I was taking a benadryl once a week, but now I need maybe one every month or two.  5. I don't mind working more weekends, so I am always able to get my 3 shifts in a row.  So after my 3rd shift I go to bed by 8:30am so I can be awake and functional after about 6 hours of sleep to help me readjust to days.  The night before I go back to work I stay up until at least 2am and shoot for 3am and try to get more than 8 hours of sleep to help set me up for being awake for 19 hours.  Not that you necessarily need to copy my schedule, but play around with things to come up with something that works for you.

As to the emotional part - starting any job is hard.  And starting a job so complicated is harder.  I only have a max of 4 patients (thank you California nursing ratios) and charting is virtually entirely electronic.  I know who I can go to with questions, and have volunteered to help other nurses when they need help (ie changing linens/diapers in the middle of the night) and so they are more likely to help me.  I have gotten one snotty day nurse who gave me a little attitude when I didn't know all the lab values from that morning, but she has really been the exception.

Exercise is something I need to figure out how to add back into my life.